Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays the respect and role of women in society far better than the past. It is argue that over the past 50 years the position of women has changed great deal in many societies, however, socities can not admit that they have achieved gender equality. I agree that in many societies respect for women has increased but in many socities it is still as it was in the past.

To begin with, in western socities like europe the position of women emerged and they have more rights than past. They can vote now, they have right to wear whatever they want and they have right to seprate from their partner. For instance, in the past european women were restricted from casting a vote they were treated as a servent, but now women empowerment is more and they are living a repected life with more rights.

On the other hand, in many Asian and African countries women are still treated as slave they mostly work in kitchens, in addition they have no rights and repect in society. Moreover, they are not allowed to get education in schools. To prove my point, in Afghanistan until today there is a ban on women education, if anyone try to get education secretly, execution is the only punishment. Even in African countries women are used as labors to dig the canals without any wage.

In conclusion, there is so much change in the behaviour toward women than the past, but still in many countries women are treated badly and they have no rights.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that women’s status has improved, but that equality has not been achieved everywhere. You address both sides of this contrast with examples, including women’s voting rights in Europe and restrictions on girls’ education in Afghanistan. These points are relevant, but some are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that women in many Asian and African countries “have no rights” is very broad, and the example of unpaid canal work is not linked explicitly to how it demonstrates gender inequality. Develop each example with a clearer explanation and avoid generalising across whole regions. This would make your response more fully supported and balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. The progression from improvements in some societies to continuing inequality in others is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “For instance” and “Moreover” help guide the reader. To strengthen cohesion further, make the relationship between examples and your main point more explicit, especially in the paragraph about unpaid labour. Some transitions are mechanical, and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing the argument together. More varied referencing and a brief synthesis of the two sides would create a smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “gender equality,” “women empowerment,” “restricted,” and “ban on women education.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main argument, but word choice and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing awkward. Examples include “socities,” “seprate,” “servent,” and “repected”; “treated as slave” and “work in kitchens” are also broad or imprecise descriptions. Aim for accurate collocations and more measured wording, such as describing unequal access to education or unpaid labour rather than making sweeping claims. Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “however” and a conditional example beginning “if anyone try to get education secretly.” However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms recur. For example, “the respect and role of women in society far better than the past” lacks a main verb, while “It is argue” and “if anyone try” have incorrect verb forms. Articles and agreement also need attention in phrases such as “treated as slave” and “women empowerment is more.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your overall position, but they reduce accuracy. Practise building complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms.

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