Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years.But these societies cannot claim to have achived gender equality. This essay explian both perspective before my opinion. I definately agree this statement.

On the one hand, nowadays most of the job working for women's. While, women's very strong for mental health and physical health, they can easy to acchive their goals in life. For example, women drive to car,auto,train and also flight. They are improve our skills day by day , so that she can work very quickly, furthermore some laddies working for abroad also.They are great some times,because single mother their childrens education and lifes take care for their only. As a result, womens achive dreams and freedom every works in the societies, essay to handle stressfull moment.

On the other hand, the societies more probelems to women's and they are thinking only stay in home laddies. While, some laddies working women for home ,most bof the stuggle to hasband ,aunty's regular based in the womens. Old age people's rules and regulation for women only and don't go to out side ,lonely go to suppermarket.For example, rules avoided onother house people and don't do to out side, not aloved working.The women's nowadays nogative comments only faced.

In conclusion, the position of women has changed a great deal in many socitiesover past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achived gender equality. I definately agree this statement,because every day womens faced by nagative comments only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view—“I definately agree”—and discuss both women’s changing opportunities and continuing restrictions, so the response is relevant to the question. Examples such as women driving vehicles and single mothers supporting their children are pertinent, but several points are difficult to interpret or are asserted without explanation, particularly the claims about women’s health and family rules. The conclusion repeats your position rather than drawing together the reasons. The response contains 210 words, below the required 250; 45 words copied from the prompt were not counted. This limits the space available to develop and support your argument. To strengthen the response, explain specific forms of inequality, such as unequal pay or restrictions on employment, and show how each example supports your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your discussion. However, the progression within paragraphs is often unclear: ideas about health, transport, skills, single motherhood, and stress are placed together without showing how they connect. Linking words such as “While,” “furthermore,” and “As a result” are sometimes used inaccurately or do not express a clear relationship. References such as “they,” “she,” and “their” also make it difficult to identify who is meant. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain it with a relevant example and a clear concluding link to gender equality.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “gender equality,” “freedom,” “single mother,” and “negative comments,” and you try to express ideas about work and social restrictions. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes strain understanding. Examples include “achived,” “laddies,” “probelems,” and “nagative”; phrases such as “most of the job working for women's” and “rules avoided onother house people” are also unclear or unnatural. Aim to learn accurate topic collocations and use them in complete, meaningful phrases—for example, “women’s employment opportunities” or “social expectations.” Proofreading spelling and checking whether each phrase conveys your intended meaning would make your argument much easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use connectors, but sentence structures are very limited in control, and frequent errors can distort meaning. For example, “most of the job working for women's” lacks a clear subject and verb pattern, while “they can easy to acchive their goals” has an incorrect construction. Agreement and pronoun use are also inconsistent, as in “They are improve our skills” and the shift from “women” to “she.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries need attention as well. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “Although women have more opportunities, some still face restrictions.” Check that each sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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