Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many socities over the past 50 years. Butt these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality, it is right that a women take a position in last 50 years to achieved in our socities the women can do work like men, for example the women do the work in our society is that the women work hard to achieved the equality from gender today we see in our society the women do all work like men, they work to become a employee in our banks shopping malls they build their confidence and set the mind on their goal they do word with honesty and dignety, Now a days, it is common to see it that they drive the motor car and motor cycle to reach from one location to another easily without any help. they word in the day time in their offices shopping malls and other destinations and in the evening they back to the home and work their home word, that is a big efferts is that all reponsibilities to perform in their societies, men also be work in their field day and night butt women now work for support our family our perants and after the marriage they work for their kids togive then better future. I agree with their question, societies want to claim have achieved their gender equality that is a appriate the women then they get award their work, now a days the position of women a great deal in many societies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You address the topic by describing women’s increased participation in work and family life, and you state, “I agree” that gender equality has not been achieved. However, the position is not explained clearly: the response also says societies “want to claim have achieved” equality, which makes your view difficult to follow. Most examples show women working hard or driving, but do not explain what inequalities remain or why these changes are insufficient. The response is also 11 words below the 250-word minimum; the 20 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop a clear argument about continuing barriers, such as unequal pay or limited representation, and support it with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response stays broadly on the topic and includes examples that relate to women’s changing roles, such as working in banks and shopping malls and managing responsibilities at home. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the introduction, supporting points, and conclusion. Ideas often run together, particularly in the sentence beginning “they work in the day time” and continuing through women’s family responsibilities. Connectors such as “for example,” “now a days,” and “butt” are used, but they do not create a clear progression, and some links between ideas are unclear. Use separate paragraphs and organise the essay around a clear position, reasons, and a concluding statement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “confidence,” “responsibilities,” and “future,” which helps communicate the general subject. There are also attempts to describe women’s roles in different settings. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise: “work” appears repeatedly, while phrases such as “take a position in last 50 years” and “set the mind on their goal” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors, including “socities,” “dignety,” and “efferts,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more varied set of terms for employment and inequality, and check spelling and collocations so your examples are easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to combine ideas in longer sentences and use some time expressions, such as “over the past 50 years” and “in the evening.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or joined without clear grammatical control. For example, “it is right that a women take a position” has problems with the article, noun form, and verb pattern, while “men also be work” uses an incorrect verb construction. Subject–verb agreement and tense are also inconsistent, as in “the women do the work” and “they back to the home.” Punctuation is limited, with several sentences joined by commas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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