Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. Nowadays, a vast number of women to contribute in education, factories and political participation. However, I agree with this statement because still now societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. This essay will discuss why I support this view.

There are several reasons woman have been progressively in their lives . First and foremost, today women are contributing a several kinds of jobs such as employment, teacher and servicer. As a result, they become more confident in their life perspectives as well as their abilities also have been enhance day by day. In addition, numerous women tend to study abroad to build their future. As a result, they often get higher salaries, which can contribute to country department. Furthermore, many women also start their own business such as parlour and education center, which allows them to become financial Independent.

Neverlentess, Many women face equality in societies. Initially, In the workplace, many men get higher salaries compared to women despite women have a aducuate skills. Moreover, women often face unsecuirty in their own place. For example, girls may struggle to harassment, early get married, which can lead to negative consequences and have a negativity effect on their mental health.

In conclusion, Although numerous women have been enhance their life style through started own business, employment and servicer, I believe that a vast number of women still face gender equality through harassment and early get married. Government should create new facilities for women and take action to minimize gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I agree with this statement”—and give relevant reasons, including unequal pay, harassment and early marriage. However, the discussion only partially develops the question: the first body paragraph mainly describes women’s progress, while the second gives brief examples of continuing inequality without explaining their causes or wider effects. The claim that women’s education leads to higher salaries and benefits a country is also unclear and does not directly show whether equality has been achieved. Your conclusion repeats the position and offers a general recommendation. The response is 241 words, so it is 9 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop and support your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The contrast between women’s progress and continuing inequality gives the essay a basic line of development, and signposts such as “In addition” and “For example” help readers follow individual points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from employment to studying abroad and business ownership without showing how each example supports the central argument. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, including repeated “As a result” and “Initially” before the workplace point. Improve cohesion by grouping related examples, using clearer references, and explaining the connection between each example and your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “higher salaries,” “harassment,” “mental health” and “financial independent,” and you attempt a range of expressions to discuss work and education. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “contribute in education,” “country department,” “face equality” and “struggle to harassment”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also inconsistent forms and spelling, such as “Neverlentess” and “unsecuirty.” Aim to learn common collocations for employment and discrimination, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your examples clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “business … which allows them to become” and a concession in the conclusion beginning “Although.” However, the range remains limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement and articles. For example, “a vast number of women to contribute” lacks a finite verb, while “their abilities also have been enhance” has an incorrect verb form. In “despite women have a aducuate skills,” the clause structure and article/plural pattern are faulty. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “Initially” and “Independent.” Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences and checking each clause before adding more complex structures.

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