Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years.However, theses societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. I completely agree with the statement and i will discuss the reasons behind this trend.

To begin with, in today's globalized society, many women's work to do but they cannot proper opportunities for example, they cannot get it proper money, becuase of gender equality,meanwhile, the men Work something they get it enough facilities such as they get it enough money, Moreover, many countries women cannot get job facilities and can also they suffer from many things from Gender equality,

On the other hand, despite the work of women they suffer from many things, for instance, when women go to work, they doing feel of fear becuase if accident on their personal life.Furthermore, the government should keep on step in our societies, the government should take nationwide campaign of people and if not gender equality, men are women equal rights. which is men cannot see to consider different equality.

To sum up,I personally believe that now women cannot get it enough facilities

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I completely agree”—and your response stays broadly focused on gender inequality, mentioning unequal pay, access to jobs and women’s safety. However, the task is addressed only minimally: these points are difficult to understand and are not explained with specific examples or developed reasoning. For instance, the claim that women “cannot get it proper money” needs a clear explanation of how pay differs and why. The final paragraph repeats that women lack facilities rather than drawing together your argument. The response is also 87 words below the required 250-word minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop your ideas. Explain each reason, support it with a relevant example, and write a fuller conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” “Furthermore” and “To sum up” help signal stages in the essay. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the second body paragraph begins with “On the other hand,” but does not present a clear opposing view, and several ideas within paragraphs are joined without showing how they relate. The repeated references to “facilities” also make the argument feel circular. Use one main point per paragraph, explain it in a logical sequence, and choose connectors that accurately express the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes some relevant topic language, such as “gender equality,” “globalized society,” “nationwide campaign” and “equal rights.” This shows an attempt to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations make the meaning hard to follow, including “many women’s work to do,” “proper money” and “job facilities.” Spelling and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “becuase” and “Gender equality.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe “unequal pay,” “barriers to employment” and “workplace safety,” then use these terms consistently to explain your points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentence forms, including sentences beginning “when women go to work” and “if accident on their personal life,” and you use basic connectors to link clauses. However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors in clause formation and verb forms sometimes obscure your meaning. For example, “they cannot proper opportunities” lacks a suitable verb, while “they doing feel of fear” does not form a correct clause. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as “50 years.However” and “To sum up,I”. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that each clause is complete and correctly punctuated.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.