Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The thinking of the society have changed over the 50 years, especially towards the women. But still, there are some societies that cannot say to have gender equality. While, I agree that there are still some discrimination, I hold that thats not the actual case, and womens have same respects compare to men.

My first reason is that nowadays women are more socially encouraged to do what they want or to be what they want. For example, compared to past women can be found almost everywhere, like doctors, pilots, astronauts and many more. This proves that the women are accepted in every field they like to be in which was rearely found in the past.

My other reason is that society is giving more priority to women than men; for instance, many governmental jobs are required to reserve at least 30 per cent of the quota for women, while there are no any requirements for men to do so. This clearly shows that many societies already accept women more than the men.

And finally, in my opinion, women are more financially free than they ever were. For example, nowadays many women can spend the money they earned on themselves rather than providing for the family, because of which the women of today's world are happier.

In sum, I strongly believe that there are still some places to work on but i agree that womens are treated equally or even higher than men in the societies over the past 50 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the position of women, but the position is somewhat contradictory. You state that you agree there is still discrimination, yet you conclude that women are treated equally or even better than men. This inconsistency makes your overall argument unclear. While you provide relevant examples like professional roles and government quotas, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. To reach a higher band, ensure your position is consistent throughout the essay and provide more nuanced analysis rather than simply listing examples. The conclusion also introduces a new claim that women are treated 'higher' than men, which was not fully explored in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'My first reason', 'My other reason', and 'In sum' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'because of which the women of today's world are happier'). The transition between your acknowledgement of discrimination and your argument that equality has been achieved is abrupt, which affects the overall coherence of your argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'gender equality', 'socially encouraged', and 'financially free'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'the thinking of the society have changed' (should be 'has changed') and 'rearely found' (spelling error). You also struggle with pluralization, such as 'the women' when referring to women in general, and 'womens'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure you are using nouns and verbs in their correct forms. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('the thinking... have changed') and article usage ('the women' instead of 'women'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction, such as 'While, I agree that there are still some discrimination'. These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points. Increasing your control over basic grammar and reducing these recurring errors will help improve your score.

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