Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that the position of woman has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. I completely agree with this view.

God created this earth for man and woman equally. In previous days, woman did face discrimination a lot because women were considered weak compared with man. As time passed woman fought for their rights and successfully achieved their rights. They were neglected in job sectors. Women face rejection after even giving their full effort for the job. Mans get the job without even trying hard. Office had the tendency to hire more man than woman. Woman fought for their rights in the street. Did protest to claim their privilege and freedom. There are now many woman in parliament, job sectors, schools, hospitals.

Major teachers from the schools are female. For nurse job in hospital women are hired. Nowadays women are being the management or executive of a job sector where it was very much rigged before. Woman and man can work now together. Female intend to be more focused on their work now than man.

Yet, after all these years women still face discrimination and racism. Mans are scared of woman driving a car, bike because of accident can happen. The job hiring management is still rigged against woman. In teaching profession most of teacher from higher level is man. One can be considered as valueless if woman is the earner of a family.

In conclusion, societies must end this discrimination and racism. Every human beings deserve to be treated fairly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that women have achieved rights and are present in various sectors, the arguments are repetitive and lack specific, well-supported examples. For instance, the claim that 'Mans get the job without even trying hard' is an over-generalisation that lacks nuance. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations or concrete evidence to support your claims rather than relying on broad assertions. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesise the points made in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. For example, many sentences start with 'Women' or 'Woman', and the transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. The logical flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'nevertheless') to connect your points more fluidly. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack clear logical links to the preceding thought, which occasionally hinders the overall coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'job', 'man', and 'woman'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'rigged before' or 'major teachers', which sound unnatural in an academic context. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to social issues, such as 'gender parity', 'systemic barriers', or 'professional advancement'. Additionally, there are consistent errors in pluralisation (e.g., 'Mans' instead of 'Men', 'human beings' used with 'every').

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and pluralisation (e.g., 'Woman and man can work now together', 'Every human beings deserve'). There are also frequent errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'For nurse job in hospital women are hired'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally cause the reader to pause, although they do not completely impede communication. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent agreement between subjects and verbs.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.