Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Women hold an equal significance in the world but they have been marginalized due to patriarchy. It is often argued that the worth of women has increased over the last five decades in multiple parts of the world but gender equality is yet to be achieved. I agree with this stance because women in developed countries are stopped from getting high-level promotions in multiple government sectors. Other than this, women are also deprived of equal wages as their male colleagues. This essay discusses both these points in detail before reaching a conclusion.

To begin with the argument, gender equality still seems a distant dream because women are not given promotions to higher governmental positions. The glass ceiling effect is regarded as the main reason behind this because women cannot progress to top posts due to their gender. For example, the United States has no female chief justice to this day, which shows women are not treated on an equal basis like men. Thus, gender equality seems a distant reality.

Another point which represents the sorry state of women in progressive countries is the wage system, which pays men more than women. In multiple places, women and men are working together and they are doing the same level of tasks, but women are not paid equal to men because of their gender. For instance, in Hollywood shows, lead roles are played by men and women but men get more pay as compared to women. Therefore, an unequal pay system becomes a hurdle in achieving gender equality in modern societies.

However, there is a strong evidence that the status of women has improved in every sector of the society because they have been granted political, educational and social rights across developed societies in the world but they are yet to be given an equal status as men.

Concluding this discussion, although there is considerable work done in the last fifty years to lift the status of women in thriving societies, they still suffer due to their gender in achieving top positions in state machinery and an equal pay at workplaces.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position in the introduction and maintaining it throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on the 'glass ceiling' and the wage gap. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; for instance, the conclusion repeats points already made in the body paragraphs without adding new insight. The inclusion of the 'however' paragraph is a bit disjointed, as it introduces a counter-argument that is not fully integrated into the main argument, making the overall position slightly less cohesive. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph adds unique depth rather than restating the core premise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct points. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Another point', and 'Therefore' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, though the connection between the final 'however' paragraph and the rest of the essay is somewhat abrupt, as it shifts the focus without a clear linking phrase to reconcile the conflicting ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly. You have used some topic-specific terms like 'glass ceiling effect', 'marginalized', and 'state machinery', which demonstrate a good range. However, there is a tendency to use simpler phrasing in places, such as 'sorry state' or 'hurdle', which could be elevated. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and academic synonyms to move beyond a functional level of vocabulary into a more precise and varied range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You have successfully used complex sentences, such as 'Although there is considerable work done... they still suffer due to their gender'. While the grammar is generally accurate, there are minor slips, such as 'there is a strong evidence' (should be 'there is strong evidence') and 'paid equal to men' (should be 'paid equally to men'). These errors are infrequent and do not impede understanding. To achieve a higher band, aim for a greater variety of complex structures and ensure consistent control over articles and adverbial forms.

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