Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The position of women has changed significantly over time, but some believe that complete gender equality has not been achieved yet. In this essay, the improvement made by governments and areas that can be improved will be discussed.
First and foremost, it can be seen that females are having greater access to education and employment compared to the past. For instance, more parents are willing to support their daughters in terms of higher education opportunities, whereas the majority of people held the stereotype that only boys needed to further study a few decades ago. This improvement of the general public's awareness in ture enables more females to be able to work in a variety of industries, such as healthcare and science. Additionally, goverments has introduced laws that prevent discrimination, and that promote equal opportunities in the workplace, encouraging females to showcase their potential.
Nevertheless, it must be realized that there are still many aspects of women's welfare that are ignored, namely gender pay gap. For example, in some developing countries, particualrly in south Asia, women earn less than men for similar work, discouraging them to climb career ladder. In addition, females are generally underrepresented in most senior management positions. There are still a significant number of employers assume that women cannot work as much as usual during their pregnency and menstruation. That assumption, though, is unproven. Finally, in most families, women are still expected to take on more household responsibilities, such as domestic chores and childcare, which takes up a substantial amount of time and energy of them and therefore limits their career growth and financial independence.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that gender equality has not been achieved yet despite the improvement has been made by goverments. Regarding equal payment, promotion opportunities, and the role in household, these areas still require attention from society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that gender equality has not yet been achieved. The response is well-structured, with a balanced discussion of progress in education and employment, followed by a critique of persistent issues like the gender pay gap and domestic expectations. Ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of South Asia and the impact of pregnancy on career progression. To reach a higher band, the student could further develop the analysis of why these inequalities persist, perhaps by discussing cultural or systemic barriers in more depth, rather than just listing the problems.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central focus, and the transition between the discussion of progress and the discussion of remaining challenges is smooth. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Additionally', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments. The flow is natural, and the relationship between ideas is consistently clear throughout the text, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and sufficient for the task. The student uses topic-specific terms like 'gender pay gap', 'senior management positions', and 'financial independence'. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'ture' (truth/reality), 'particualrly' (spelling), and 'pregnency' (pregnancy). While the range is adequate to convey meaning precisely, the occasional spelling errors and slightly repetitive phrasing prevent it from reaching the higher bands. Expanding the range of collocations would further enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using complex sentences, such as 'The improvement of the general public's awareness... enables more females to be able to work...'. However, there are several grammatical slips, including subject-verb agreement errors like 'goverments has introduced' and 'a significant number of employers assume' (should be 'assumes' or 'are assuming'). Punctuation is generally correct, but some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'takes up a substantial amount of time and energy of them'. These errors do not impede communication but occur frequently enough to limit the score.
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