Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The debate of being self-employed or being an employee of a multinational company is contentious. While working for oneself provides flexibility and recognition, working in an organization provides certainty and job security. In my opinion, establishing and running a successful business is far more rewarding than working for someone else.

To commence with, the primary catalyst behind the phenomenon of choosing to do business rather than doing a job is the sense of ownership along with work flexibility which can bring a significant change in an individual's life. To expound, since self-employment equips people to

set up business strategies, hire subordinates and choose their own work schedule, it not only gives them control over their workplace but also the convenience to work on their own

terms. For instance, most of the graduating university students prefer to be self-employed instead of working under a manager in an organization. Hence, the above example vividly illustrates how entrepreneurship is prioritized over a job at a company.

On the contrary, the driving factor behind the notion of choosing jobs is employment security which prevents any formidable situation. To elaborate, other demographics believe that being self-employed involves a lot of uncertainty, whereas working for an organization provides a secure future without the risk of loss during times of global recession, this is because giant companies have numerous resources to resuscitate but a small business may not flourish in challenging times. Thus, the aforementioned reason substantiates why some individuals prefer to work in an institution.

To conclude, although business ownership offers autonomy which is the underpinning to support self-employment, working with an organization has its own perks such as job security. In my opinion, self-employment is fruitful as it provides plethora of opportunities in the long run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion regarding the position of women and gender equality over the past 50 years. However, the essay discusses the merits of self-employment versus working for a multinational company. Because the response fails to address the task prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in relation to the specific question asked. According to IELTS criteria, a response that is unrelated to the task must be penalised heavily in this category, as it does not address any part of the prompt provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

Despite being off-topic, the essay demonstrates a clear structure. Each paragraph has a central topic sentence, and the writer uses cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the contrary', and 'To conclude' to link ideas. The progression of arguments is logical within the context of the essay's own theme (self-employment vs. employment). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the internal organisation of the text is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task. The writer uses a range of topic-specific vocabulary related to business and employment, such as 'contentious', 'catalyst', 'subordinates', 'resuscitate', and 'autonomy'. There are some minor collocation issues, such as 'provides plethora of opportunities' (missing an article: 'a plethora'). However, the range is sufficient to convey meaning clearly. The writer attempts to use less common items, which shows an effort to expand their lexical range, though some choices are slightly formal or academic in a way that feels somewhat rehearsed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over punctuation and sentence construction. Examples of complex structures include 'While working for oneself provides flexibility and recognition, working in an organization provides certainty and job security.' There are occasional grammatical errors, such as 'The debate of being self-employed or being an employee... is contentious' (the preposition 'of' is slightly awkward here) and the missing article in the final sentence. However, these errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. The grammar is generally accurate throughout the text.

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