Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The debate of being self-employed or being an employee of a multinational company is contentious. While working for oneself provides flexibility and recognition, working in an organization provides certainty and job security. In my opinion, establishing and running a successful business is far more rewarding than working for someone else.

To commence with, the primary catalyst behind the phenomenon of choosing to do business rather than doing a job is the sense of ownership along with work flexibility which can bring a significant change in an individual's life. To expound, since self-employment equips people to

set up business strategies, hire subordinates and choose their own work schedule, it not only gives them control over their workplace but also the convenience to work on their own

terms. For instance, most of the graduating university students prefer to be self-employed instead of working under a manager in an organization. Hence, the above example vividly illustrates how entrepreneurship is prioritized over a job at a company.

On the contrary, the driving factor behind the notion of choosing jobs is employment security which prevents any formidable situation. To elaborate, other demographics believe that being self-employed involves a lot of uncertainty, whereas working for an organization provides a secure future without the risk of loss during times of global recession, this is because giant companies have numerous resources to resuscitate but a small business may not flourish in challenging times. Thus, the aforementioned reason substantiates why some individuals prefer to work in an institution.

To conclude, although business ownership offers autonomy which is the underpinning to support self-employment, working with an organization has its own perks such as job security. In my opinion, self-employment is fruitful as it provides plethora of opportunities in the long run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an evaluation of gender equality over the past 50 years, but the essay discusses the merits of self-employment versus working for a company. Because the student failed to address the task prompt entirely, the score for Task Achievement is severely impacted. While the essay is structured as an argument, it does not engage with the subject matter of the question at all. To improve, it is essential to carefully read the prompt and ensure the content directly answers the specific question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

Despite the off-topic content, the essay demonstrates a clear structure. It uses standard paragraphing, including an introduction, two body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the contrary', and 'To conclude' are used effectively to signal the progression of ideas. The logical flow within the paragraphs is consistent, even though the ideas themselves do not relate to the prompt. The use of referencing is generally clear, and the internal structure of the essay is logical.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.5

The vocabulary is quite strong and demonstrates a good range of academic language. Phrases such as 'primary catalyst', 'formidable situation', 'resuscitate', and 'underpinning' show an ability to use less common lexical items with a good level of precision. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choice is generally appropriate for an academic essay. While the content is irrelevant, the language used to express these irrelevant ideas is sophisticated and demonstrates a level of lexical control consistent with a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

The essay displays a good variety of complex sentence structures. The student uses subordinate clauses and complex sentence patterns effectively, such as 'since self-employment equips people to set up business strategies... it not only gives them control...'. Grammar and punctuation are generally accurate throughout the text. There are very few errors, and those that exist do not impede communication. The control over sentence construction is consistent, and the writer demonstrates a good grasp of complex grammatical forms.

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