Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The standard of females has been altered to a great extent in many societies over the previous half century. But the community is not ready to accept gender equality. Feminism is a topic which is under discussion throughout the world. In this essay, we will discuss about the attitude of people towards gender parity.

In modern world of today, women and and teenage girls are trying to become independent and take the hold of patriarchy. But people have negative attitude towards this behaviour. There are various reasons of this attitude. People thought that if women will become self-independent, they will not pay attention to their family and their children will spoiled in the coming future. Family members of some girls are concerned about their privacy and safety, so they don't allow their women to go outside for earning and compete with men. For example; one of the most famous female cricketers of Pakistan is Bisma Maruf. Her father did not allow her to play cricket because her family was narrow minded. But with struggle, she achieved her goals.

I am not agree with this attitude of people towards women freedom because it is dangerous for the future of these females. For example; My aunt is facing serious financial difficulties after the death of her husband. My widow aunt is facing serious problem in upbringing of her four children. Women should be self-independent because if women stand on their own, they will not depend on anyone in their future. Financially independent women are not dependent on anyone their coming future.

According to my perspective, parents have important role in the future of their daughters. If girls are educated-well, they will be a source of proud for their parents and country. These strong and resilient women have powerful images in the society and a prosperous society will come in view.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the current state of gender equality and providing reasons for the lack of progress. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the personal example of the cricketer is relevant, the argument regarding the aunt is a bit anecdotal and could be better linked to the broader societal context of gender equality. The position is clear, but the essay would benefit from a more balanced exploration of why societies cannot claim to have achieved equality, perhaps by touching on systemic issues like the gender pay gap or political representation, rather than focusing primarily on family dynamics.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'For example' is used twice in close proximity). Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'take the hold of patriarchy,' which is slightly awkward. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the ideas flow reasonably well, though the transition between the general societal discussion and the personal anecdotes could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range expected at higher bands. There are several instances of awkward collocations or word choices, such as 'standard of females' instead of 'status of women' and 'take the hold of patriarchy' instead of 'challenge patriarchal norms.' The phrase 'children will spoiled' contains a grammatical error that also affects lexical accuracy. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'gender parity' and 'self-independent,' the overall range is somewhat limited, and some expressions are not natural in an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'I am not agree' (should be 'I do not agree'), 'children will spoiled' (should be 'children will be spoiled'), and 'source of proud' (should be 'source of pride'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with sentence boundaries and article usage. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band for grammatical accuracy.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.