Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that women empowerment has significantly increased over the years in modern society as women are now running the countries but some claim that the gender biasness still lingers on within these societies. According to my understanding, this trend has quieted a few merits and demerits of its own. This essay will discuss both perspectives.

One of the several reasons why I initially agree with this perspective is because now women have the right of attending universities and receive free education. As, numerous women were restricted to their home's in the past and weren't allowed to leave but due to suffragette movement in the UK in 1913 women have now earned their freedom. To signify this point, many women now can not only vote but are elected as well to compete with leaders for elite positions such as Giorgio Milani who is now the prime minister of Italy. Furthermore, due to social media awareness and countless women speaking up for their rights therefore, with the help of United nations they are able to promote equal rights and free education as basic necessities which grant them equal cerebral opportunities. For instance, women in Saudi Arabia are now allowed to drive alone without the need of any man since last 2 years.

On the contrary, there are numerous countries which are still combating for their basic rights and opportunities. As, their leaders believe that it is pointless for women to acquire education because they are only born to serve men. For example. women in Afghanistan are not allowed to attended schools after the age of six and are set off to marry while, boys can receive world class education. Moreover, even in recent times due to social media frenzy many female actors have complained about being only used as prop for films and not receiving equal pay as to the fellow male actors. In addition to it, they also complained of being victims of sexual assault by many actors and producers and were many were laid off if they chose to speak about it. For example, two years back numerous actresses boycotted the Cannes film festival due to not getting equal pay and being victims of abuse.

Although, a women's position has changed over in the last few years but only for the well developed countries. Women with impoverished background or third world countries are still fighting for their right which is downright egregious. These actions need to be taken into consideration immediately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging both the progress made and the remaining challenges regarding gender equality. You have provided relevant examples, such as the situation in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, to support your arguments. However, the introduction is slightly off-target; you mention that the trend has 'merits and demerits,' which is a common template for a 'discuss both views' essay rather than a 'to what extent do you agree' essay. While you do take a position, the essay structure feels more like a balanced discussion than a clear argument. To reach a higher band, ensure your thesis statement directly answers the 'extent' of your agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific theme. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' and 'For instance' to link ideas. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly misused, such as starting sentences with 'As,' which creates a fragment rather than a cohesive link. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the argument, which helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'suffragette,' 'impoverished,' and 'egregious.' However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'gender biasness' (gender bias), 'quieted a few merits' (has a few merits), and 'set off to marry' (forced into marriage). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations for academic topics and avoid inventing words like 'biasness'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with punctuation (e.g., 'For example. women'), article usage, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'As, numerous women were restricted...'). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage also need attention, such as 'attended schools' instead of 'attend schools.' While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic sentence structure and punctuation errors.

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