Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern society, women empowerment had developed to a larger extent which brought drastic changes in the position of womens. But critics had argued that the women is still suffering from gender inequality. I am strongly agree with this statement. In these forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my own opinion and enlighten with some relevant examples.

To commence with, women are still suffering from discrimination in the employment opportunity. To simplify it, there are many job sectors that still have regressive thought and unpopular opinions that women are not appropriate for joining in specific industries such as aerospace and engineering. Additionally, women are the lowest who are in these fields. This justifies that discrimination is still prevalent and still alive.

Furthermore, there are paradoxical opinions that shows women cannot able to work after marriage. To explain it, many traditional society does not allowed their women to continue their aspirations and their goals. To cite an instance, in India 90% womens are overqualified but only less than 40% female are objectified to work because of their peer pressure or their in-laws interference which clearly shows that women are still suffering from gender biasness.

To wrap up, while the society is modernised and large proportion of aspects has been changed but still there are some people who are not changed with time. Hence, it shows that biasness and discrimination is still in the roots of certain amount of people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While the main arguments regarding employment discrimination and traditional societal pressures are relevant, they are somewhat under-developed. The examples provided, such as the mention of India, are a good start but lack the depth required for a higher band score. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed analysis and ensure the essay meets the length requirement to allow for full development of your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You have used some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'To wrap up', to signal the progression of your argument. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the phrase 'women are the lowest who are in these fields' is grammatically awkward and hinders the flow of ideas. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help create a more natural and sophisticated progression of thought.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'women empowerment had developed to a larger extent', 'unpopular opinions', and 'biasness' (which is not standard English). You also use repetitive phrasing, such as 'suffering from' and 'still'. To improve, focus on learning more academic collocations and synonyms. For example, instead of 'drastic changes', consider 'significant shifts', and replace 'biasness' with 'prejudice' or 'gender bias'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I am strongly agree' (should be 'I strongly agree'), 'women is still suffering' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'many traditional society does not allowed' (plural/singular and tense errors). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels clunky. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate better control over complex sentence forms and ensure subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency throughout your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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