Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The state of women has been transformed dramatically in numerous societies over the past 50 years. However, the societies are not able to make claims that they have successfully maintained gender equality. I strongly agree to this stance that there has been a tremendous change but women are still deprived of their rights in certain society.

Firstly, nowadays, women have been given the opportunity to take leadership positions in many government parastatals, which they were deprived of in the past times. Moreover, they have always executed works more excellently than the male counterparts. There are many women who have recorded greater accomplishment in our today's world, and are making impacts in diverse fields ranging from finance, medicine, politics and agriculture. Women are no longer stigmatized in the society these days because their value has been discovered and recognized. They have also been placed in a high esteem by the government of every country that has enshrined certain laws to ensure that they are relevant, and hold offices as men do.

Nevertheless, many societies cannot make claims to have maintained gender equality because they do not still see values in women the way they hold men as the overall. They still keep to the believe that women are made to be under men. They are the ones that encourage female genital mutilation, and fighting so hard to make sure that women are not seen, and cannot be heard. These have been the reasons that these societies fail to measure the extent to which they have achieved gender equality. They discriminate the women, and often prevent them from taking leadership roles. They always make sure that they obstruct possible rising of women in their amidst. This has been the reason that many of these societies are not able to support their claim of achieving gender equality.

In conclusion, there are many factors to be considered when measuring whether a society has achieved gender equality, and these parameters have to be centered on how the women in the society are treated, and offered the opportunity to express their ideas whenever possible.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that acknowledges both the progress made and the remaining inequalities. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of leadership roles and cultural practices like female genital mutilation. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the second and third paragraphs focus heavily on the same general points about leadership and societal attitudes without providing specific, nuanced examples or deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, the arguments should be more thoroughly extended with concrete evidence or logical progression rather than restating the same concepts in different ways.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two sides of the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is a bit disjointed, such as the transition between the discussion of government laws and the subsequent paragraph on societal beliefs. The referencing is generally clear, though some phrasing is slightly awkward, which occasionally impacts the smoothness of the progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'enshrined', 'stigmatized', and 'parastatals'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'make claims that they have successfully maintained gender equality' (instead of 'achieved') and 'obstruct possible rising of women in their amidst'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on using collocations more naturally and ensuring that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in the past times', 'in the society'), subject-verb agreement, and word forms ('keep to the believe' instead of 'belief'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'I strongly agree to this stance that there has been a tremendous change'. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.