Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Over the past 50 years, many communities have tailored their policies to promote gender equality by offering more opportunities for women's development in various fields, from studying to working. Yet, they still cannot achieve full gender equality, as there remain prejudices about women in their society, especially as housewives or women were unlikely to be shortlisted for important positions. Personally, I agree with this statement because this comes from the history and common people's awareness in that community, which has been implemented for a long time and has become a manner in its culture. This essay below is going to clarify my perspective.

Initially, it is observed that the number of women in leadership recently is lower than that of men in many societies, as they still believe that women have a lower position than men and that they are not able to bear huge difficulties such as international conferences, debating or leading a business. For example, various Muslim countries allow a man to marry multiple wives, and women cannot pursue appropriate education, which is significantly biased. Moreover, it is obvious that in many conferences about voting for presidents, the number of male delegates significantly dominates the number of females.

Although a lot of talented female leaders were recognised nationally and internationally, somewhere on this earth, men were still being prioritised for big decisions. Therefore, feminism has been established to fight for women's rights. In many businesses, they have followed the ESG framework and the letter S, which is Social, includes gender equality, and to align with this, those firms need to have special policies for women in salary and superannuation, and have more female employees than male. However, the role of women in the past has always been associated with being a housewife and only suitable for gentle work, and this prejudice has existed for a long time, especially in Asian countries, and has been implemented into people's awareness, which is hard to change in rural areas.

In conclusion, despite being intelligent and contributing a lot of achievements to society, some countries cannot fully claim gender equality because their societal awareness has not changed about women's rights.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the core issue—that societal progress has occurred but is incomplete due to deep-seated cultural prejudices. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of leadership disparities and the ESG framework. However, the development of these ideas is occasionally uneven; for instance, the paragraph regarding the ESG framework is somewhat disjointed from the main argument about cultural prejudice. To reach a higher band, ensure that every example directly reinforces your central thesis rather than introducing new, tangential concepts like corporate policy frameworks.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Initially,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition from the discussion of international conferences to the ESG framework in the third paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'this' to refer to broad concepts. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring tighter thematic links between sentences would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prejudices,' 'shortlisted,' and 'significantly dominates.' There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly unnatural or imprecise, such as 'common people's awareness' or 'implemented into people's awareness.' While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and academic phrasing. For instance, instead of 'implemented into people's awareness,' consider 'deeply ingrained in societal norms.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are recurring grammatical errors, such as 'women were unlikely to be shortlisted' (tense inconsistency) and 'men were still being prioritised' (unnecessary passive voice usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are occasional slips in sentence construction that slightly affect clarity. To improve, focus on maintaining consistent verb tenses and refining your use of passive versus active voice to ensure your arguments are delivered with more impact and grammatical precision.

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