Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Hello Yes We All knows that women had bring alots of new things in our society. And the last 50 years she been working with these works. But our societies are not accepting that this happens by a women. Because women was like she is delicate fragile and not allowed to do any things in many ways. But she proved wrong to every person who had these kind of thoughts. I wanna add here one real life example of my self I am one of my family member who escaped for secondary and higher education. Once a time my cousins ask me if I will work after that how much hardworking I did during my academic. So I replied yes of course then he said let see but u will not work independently and not allowed to move from the home like alone our girls didn't do any work the just kept theirs self in locked room. So I replied I did hardwork and my name add Speech and language pathologist so why I keep myself lock i have alot of knowledge I will definitely served this knowledge in real life patient who needs me in their life for their healthy lifestyle .but my father supported me in many way I did my 2 month job in Islamabad after that I thought I should have to do specialisation in autism beacuse there were alot of patients wo were diagnosed as autism so that's why I am applying for Ms for further assessment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the topic of gender equality but fails to maintain an academic tone or a clear, structured argument. While you provide a personal anecdote, the task requires a more balanced discussion of societal trends rather than a narrative about your own career path. The position is somewhat unclear, and the ideas are not fully developed or supported with general evidence. To improve, you should focus on presenting clear arguments about why gender equality has not been achieved, using broader societal examples rather than focusing solely on your personal experience.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks formal paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a lack of cohesive devices; sentences are often linked by simple conjunctions like 'and' or 'but' rather than sophisticated transitions. The flow is disjointed, and the narrative style makes it hard to distinguish between your main argument and your supporting examples. Using clear topic sentences and linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' would significantly improve the logical flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic words like 'things', 'work', and 'hardworking'. There are also frequent errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'women had bring' instead of 'women have brought' and 'kept theirs self' instead of 'kept themselves'. While you attempt to use some subject-specific vocabulary like 'speech and language pathologist' and 'specialisation', the overall range is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. You need to focus on learning more academic collocations and improving your control over word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('women was', 'societies are not accepting'), tense usage ('women had bring'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, and punctuation is largely absent or incorrect. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To reach a higher band, you must work on basic sentence construction, verb tense consistency, and the use of complex structures like relative clauses or conditional sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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