Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary epoch, individuals still observed disparity between man and woman. On that note, since the past half centuries women position has changed in the communities, but the societies still not achieved gender equalities. This essay will not only discuss the reasons behind this aforementioned notion but also articulate my viewpoints.

There are several reasons why communities did not achieve this success. The first and foremost reason is, in some regions individuals still follow their cultural belief. In other word, since the childhood, it can be learned that girls are not capable for doing jobs, they only handle families and household chores. For example, in India, there are some rural areas where girls are not allowed to get education because of their culture, consequently societies cannot change their behavior towards discrimination. Another striking reason is, in some working areas women are still not allowed, as they considered them as not physically fit to perform all heavy tasks.

Furthermore, disparity between the economic status. To exemplify, mans are still getting high-salary jobs and women paid least due to the mindset of people that they are not capable and do not fulfill companies' demand. In addition to that, families assert that only men can handle their parents during their old age, because of this societies cannot accept the equalities between genders. Hence, these factors are responsible for discrimination.

In conclusion, in recent years man and woman can do same job with same equal paying scall, I believe that in these society women can still faces discrimination because of cultural belief, companies' policies, and human behaviour.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by acknowledging the progress made while arguing that gender equality remains elusive. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'cultural belief' is supported by an example from India, but the explanation of why this persists is brief. The argument regarding economic status is also somewhat underdeveloped, relying on generalizations about 'mans' and 'high-salary jobs' without deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of these societal structures rather than just listing them. The conclusion is a bit contradictory, as it mentions that men and women now do the same jobs with equal pay, which slightly undermines your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'The first and foremost reason', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. For example, the phrase 'On that note' at the beginning is used incorrectly in this context. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'societies cannot change their behavior towards discrimination', where the link to the previous point could be more explicit. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally will enhance the cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your ideas, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally impede the flow. For example, you use 'disparity between man and woman' instead of 'gender disparity' or 'inequality between men and women'. You also use 'paying scall' (pay scale) and 'articulate my viewpoints' (which is slightly formal/unnatural in this context). Some terms are used inaccurately, such as 'contemporary epoch' and 'since the past half centuries'. To improve, focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and ensure you are using precise terminology for the topic of gender equality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('individuals still observed', 'societies still not achieved'), article usage ('the societies', 'the childhood'), and pluralization ('mans', 'women paid least'). There are also punctuation and spelling errors, such as 'faces' instead of 'face' and 'paying scall'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb tenses and plural forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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