Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The position of women has changed significantly in present, but at the moment we can't talk about gender equality.
First of all, in some of the countries where women have been seen as a thing who take care of kids, make food and please their men, and never treated as a human being by their partner, stand in this days as well for some of them. Or maybe those men are trying to do such a thing. Also, in the present, women have much more liberty to do what they want to do, what they want to wear, as well as what they want to talk about, but everything with caution.
On the other hand, some of the countries recognize women as a human being who have more rights than women from Middle Eastern.
From my point of view, we as a men, we have to mitigate for the women's rights to enhance their quality of life. Also, women have to strengthen themselves to enable their rights for speaking in front of men, even in the Middle Eastern families. The families that are moved in Europe tend to be more open minded than in their countries when they're seeing how it's like with women in the emigration country.
In this days, women have men's field jobs where they earn much more than their men. Also, a lot of Middle Eastern women who are emigrated to European countries, for example, most of them aren't anymore hidden by their clothes and aren't supposed to suffer under the sun in the middle of summer thanks to foster social cohesion.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging the progress made in gender equality while arguing that full equality has not been achieved. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The arguments regarding Middle Eastern cultures are somewhat generalized and lack the depth required for a higher band. The essay touches on relevant points, such as workplace dynamics and cultural shifts in immigrant families, but these are not fully explored or supported with clear, logical reasoning. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments are often fragmented, leading to an underdeveloped response that struggles to maintain a cohesive academic argument throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often weak. Transitions are frequently mechanical or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of the argument. For instance, the jump from discussing domestic roles to the comparison of Middle Eastern and European societies lacks a clear linking device. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'such a thing' or 'those men', which does not clearly point back to the intended antecedent. While the paragraphing is present, the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary cohesion to guide the reader effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'seen as a thing' instead of 'viewed as inferior' or 'mitigate for the women's rights' instead of 'advocate for'. The phrasing 'please their men' and 'suffer under the sun' is informal and lacks the academic tone required for an IELTS Task 2 response. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the frequent misuse of collocations prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. More precise, topic-specific vocabulary is needed to discuss social issues effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but errors are frequent and sometimes impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('we as a men', 'families that are moved'), article usage, and prepositions. The sentence structure is often awkward, particularly in the second paragraph, where the syntax becomes convoluted. While the reader can understand the general intent, the high frequency of grammatical errors—such as 'in this days' instead of 'these days'—demonstrates a lack of control over complex structures, keeping the score in the lower range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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