Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued that the societies have not achieved gender equality, even though the position of women has been changed over the past 50 years. I completely agree with this statement because it have been observed for a long time, even if women achieve some greatness in their life, the patriarchal mind of the people never wants to see women work in the male dominated fields.
To begin, we know that women had faced a lot of criticism and judgments throughout the history. They have faced a lot of prejudice for their color, shape and especially for their interests. Our elder generation had taught us, how women are born to serve a role of homemaker i.e there only purpose in life is to keep the families intact. Many women ancestors of ours had fought for our rights so that the upcoming generations of female can have what they had been deprived of. For generations, the male figures had stolen the work of women and branded as their own. For instance, the discovery of DNA was done by Rosalind Franklin but the history remembers James Watson and Francis Circk for it.
Subsequently, the upbringing also play a pivotal role in this discrimination. People for centuries have treated women like a property rather than human and had assumed they have every rights to control them. For example, the women of Afghanistan are suffering because of talibans who have kept them as a prison even in their own country. They have to take permission even to breathe and are restricted from getting any education. The century long fight fought by our ancestors are all in vain as even in the recent year the women are not appreciated for their works.
In conclusion, even if many women are now the members of important bodies like United Nation and had raise awareness regarding the women suffering. Only think the society has done is to turn a blind eye to it, leaving all the brave women like Malala, Emma Watson and their journey to bring a change to the world is still ongoing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear and well-developed position throughout in complete agreement with the statement. The writer attempts to cover multiple dimensions of gender inequality, including historical prejudice, patriarchal upbringing, and systemic issues such as women's rights in Afghanistan and underrepresented contributions in science. For instance, the reference to Rosalind Franklin provides a relevant and specific example to support the argument regarding stolen scientific credit. While some ideas like the mention of international figures such as Malala and Emma Watson are slightly compressed in the conclusion, the overall development of ideas is well-maintained. The response covers all parts of the task adequately, aligning with the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from historical context to modern upbringing and global examples. Paragraphing is utilised appropriately, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct sub-theme. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'To begin', 'Subsequently', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or abrupt, as seen in the concluding paragraph where the sentence structure breaks down slightly with 'leaving all the brave women like Malala... is still ongoing.' Cohesive devices are occasionally slightly inaccurate or strained, which prevents the response from reaching the higher bands, keeping it comfortably at Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common items such as 'patriarchal mind', 'prejudice', 'pivotal role', and 'turn a blind eye'. However, there are notable word-choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'societies have not achieved' (instead of society), 'achieve some greatness' (instead of achieve greatness or success), 'kept them as a prison' (instead of prisoners), and 'Circk' (spelling error for Crick). Despite these lexical flaws, communication is not impeded, and the range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the writer's ideas clearly, which corresponds to the descriptors for Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied grammatical structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement ('societies have not achieved', 'it have been observed', 'upbringing also play', 'every rights'), article usage ('the societies', 'the talibans'), and tense consistency. Furthermore, several complex sentences lack structural control, notably the final sentence of the essay which suffers from a dangling modifier and grammatical incompleteness. These errors cause some irritation for the reader, although they do not entirely obscure the intended meaning, placing the performance securely within the Band 5.5 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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