Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past five decades, the position of women in the society have progressed considerably. Whether this advancement in women role in the society have been sufficient to achieve gender equality remains a contentious issue. In this essay, I will discuss that the recent changes in company policies and the growth of women global sports competition indicates the society has been successful in achieving gender equality.

In modern society, majority business organisation allows both men and women to take maternity leave. While females are offered longer break from work to look after the baby, males are also allowed to take them. This inddicates the society have come to realise that it is not solely the mother responsibility to take care of the child. For instance, in Australia, the government provides six month of allowance to working women during pregnancy. Such incentives by businesses and the government highlights gender equality in workplace.

On the other side, people that contend gender inequality still a problem in the society because of the enormous pay gap in the sports industry. However, it crucial to note the commercial side of the business. For example, since the number of viewers are more for men competiton than women competiton, revenue earned through men tournaments are far more compared to women. This is because men competition has been running for a long time, whereas the women sporting competiton are still relatively new. Overtime, as the game and skills of sportswomen improves, their competition will attract more viewers and revenue.

In conclusion, it is my firm belief that the equality between the two gender in the society has been attained. Companies have modernised their policy allowing both parent to take parental leave as they have now come to realise the duty of looking after the baby is shared by both mom and dad. Lastly, even though there is massive gap in players salary in sporting industry, the gap will irradicate as women improve their performance while women sporting competition gains popularity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt directly and takes a clear, albeit somewhat contradictory position, arguing that gender equality has been achieved by pointing to company policies and the growth of women's sports, while simultaneously acknowledging ongoing issues like the pay gap. The main ideas are generally relevant and supported with examples, such as Australian government provisions and viewership metrics in sports. However, the development is sometimes superficial, and the assertion that gender equality is fully attained lacks robust sociological grounding, bordering on over-generalisation. Furthermore, the introduction states an intention to discuss company policies and sports, but the body paragraphs focus more on arguing agreement rather than providing a balanced discussion. Despite these minor limitations, all parts of the prompt are addressed with a clear stance, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is organised into four distinct paragraphs, featuring a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which gives the writing an overall coherent arrangement. Logical progression is generally maintained, with signposting language such as 'In modern society', 'On the other side', and 'In conclusion' guiding the reader through the text. However, cohesive devices are occasionally mechanical or misused, as seen in 'On the other side' (instead of 'On the other hand'). Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, and paragraph internal transitions could be smoother. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but the management of cohesion prevents the text from reaching higher bands.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'contentious issue', 'commercial side', and 'viewership'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and word-form errors throughout the text. Examples include 'women role' instead of 'women's role', 'men competiton' instead of 'men's competition', and 'irradicate' instead of 'eradicate'. Spelling errors like 'inddicates' also appear. While these lexical errors do not impede communication, they demonstrate a lack of precision and control over less common vocabulary, which places this response firmly at Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting conditional and subordinate clauses such as 'While females are offered longer break from work...' and 'Overtime, as the game and skills of sportswomen improves...'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and frequent grammatical errors are present, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the position of women... have progressed', 'this advancement... have been sufficient', 'majority business organisation allows'). There are also missing articles and pluralisation issues (e.g., 'longer break', 'mother responsibility', 'massive gap in players salary'). While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they prevent the text from achieving a higher band score due to the frequency of basic grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.