Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, women empowerment is a ongoing trend. Although over the past 50 years women empowerment has changed a big deal in numerous societies, these societies can not announce to have achieved gender equality. I opine that i completely agree with this statement because of the inequality in not only decision making roles but also in dangerous jobs.

To commence with the major reason of why societies are unable to claim that they achieved gender equality is inequality in decision making roles. The gender equality is term used for male and female are equal in all prospects of life not only in job. Though, more number females are now working instead doing housework can be considered as positive development in male dominant society, it is not a gender equality because most of the decision of households are still taken by men of the house. For example, a research done in India indicates that even the homes where men and women are working, males take decision of buying something expensive for the family like new vehicle or new house.

Furthermore, even though women are working in multiple sectors which were the male dominant fields in past such as education, science and technology, dangerous jobs are still done by males such as army and industry work. For example, in factories only males are the staff who works near the furnace and women do not want to work in such difficult conditions. Along with this, females are not interested in working in waste management also because they have to deal with waste.

In conclusion, despite women empowerment is encouraging women to work in any field they want, i restate that societies can not claim to have achieved gender equality until they achieve equality in every sector of life and work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the task, taking a clear and well-developed position that gender equality has not yet been achieved. The ideas are relevant and supported with explanations and examples, such as reference to decision-making roles in Indian households and occupational segregation in dangerous jobs like factories. However, there is a tendency to slightly over-generalize in parts, and the development could be extended further for a Band 7.0 score. Specifically, the points regarding waste management and factory furnaces illustrate the central argument well, but the supporting details remain somewhat basic. Therefore, the response satisfies the requirements for a Band 6.5, as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some parts are slightly under-developed or rely on broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, moving from decision-making roles to occupational choices. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen with transitional phrases like 'To commence with the major reason of why societies are unable to claim that they achieved gender equality' which is awkward and unnatural. Referencing and logical progression are occasionally hindered by grammatical inaccuracies in linking words. While the organizational structure is visible and logical, the mechanical application of cohesive devices and occasional awkward transitions place this response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'occupational segregation' implicitly through context, as well as terms like 'empowerment' and 'inequality'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'women empowerment is a ongoing trend' (an ongoing trend), 'can not announce' (claim/declare), and 'prospects' instead of 'aspects'. Collocations are sometimes unnatural, for example, 'takes decision of buying' instead of 'makes decisions about buying'. These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some attempt at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'Though, more number females are now working instead doing housework can be considered as positive development...'. However, this sentence also highlights grammatical instability, featuring missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and structural awkwardness. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('women empowerment is a ongoing trend', 'the gender equality is term used') and article omissions. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the response from achieving a higher band, making Band 5.5 an accurate reflection of the current grammatical control.

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