Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Womens are todays playing crucial role in our society. I strongly agree with this statement, becaus womens are equal to men's in this era. But some people cannot claim to have gender equality. I will give my perspective and experience in this essay.
In todays world, womens are acheiving thier golas very rapidly and giving competetion to men's. In addition, from many collages and university womens are getting scholarships and free education due to their ability. Also working in factories and running comanies in our country. Meanwhile, In some areas womens are starting their own buiseness and making money by themselfs.
On the otherhand, In some areas people are not giving equality to women's and they cannot grow more. In rural areas parents who have dauters they are doing marriage and thinking so she will be fine, but they are not thinking of their dreams and ability to achevments. Moreover, some parents are not worry about society, and they are encouraging their girls to achieve every thing they want. Slowly people are getting importance of womens and they are also encouraging their dauters. Womens are also getting or sellecting for going to moon in this era, and in sports womens are also acheving gold medals.
In conclusion, people should encourage their children and give importance to their studies, and societies also have to accept gender equality.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether societies have achieved gender equality, but it presents contradictory viewpoints in the introduction by stating both 'I strongly agree with this statement, becaus womens are equal to men's' and 'some people cannot claim to have gender equality.' The body paragraphs present some relevant ideas regarding career advancement, education, and rural challenges, but these are underdeveloped and lack sufficient depth and specific examples. Furthermore, the response suffers from a length penalty, as it falls short of the minimum 250-word requirement at 226 words. These limitations restrict the task response to a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, though the introductory and concluding paragraphs are very brief. There is a basic attempt to sequence ideas logically, moving from general achievements to contrasting societal challenges. However, the progression is often disjointed due to abrupt shifts between sentences, such as moving from rural marriage customs directly to parents encouraging their daughters without clear transitional markers. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and repetitively (e.g., 'In addition', 'Also', 'Moreover', 'In conclusion'), and referencing is occasionally unclear. Paragraphing is attempted, but overall organization lacks smooth transitions. These features align with a Band 5.0 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently impeded by severe spelling errors throughout the text (e.g., 'Womens' instead of women, 'becaus' for because, 'acheiving' for achieving, 'golas' for goals, 'competetion' for competition, 'collages' for colleges, 'comanies' for companies, 'buiseness' for business, 'themselfs' for themselves, 'dauters' for daughters, 'achevments' for achievements). There is a very limited range of appropriate vocabulary for an academic essay, and the frequent lexical errors cause strain for the reader and occasionally impede communication. This level corresponds to a Band 4.0 in lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The writing displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent mistakes with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Womens are todays playing', 'parents who have dauters they are doing marriage'), pluralisation, and punctuation. Complex structures are attempted, such as 'parents who have dauters they are doing marriage', but these are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. Errors are frequent and often distort meaning, placing this performance at Band 4.0 for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.