Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In various states, the authority of women has experienced substantial growth since last 50 years, although equal rights in terms of gender still can not be assured via these states.However, I personally believe that, this is the brutal truth of current world.

Nobody should deny the growing influence of women empowerment in many developed and developing countries. The government has been trying its best to introduce equality in gender in terms of education, work positions, political career and so on. For instance, India has about 40% women employability rate at present , which couldnot be imagined even during last decade. Consequently , this positive change has let women stand against crime, raise their voices on different topic, has provided seat on parliament, ensured higher literacy rate of women and so on.

On the other hand, if we look at the broader picture, we can still view the violance and degradation happening with women from financially challanged background. Even though, girls from higher society has been able to touch the sky and participate in contemporary world, girls from lower middle class are still deprived of higher education. For example, India still faces about 4000 rape cases monthly, honor killing of girls, early marriage cases, and death of innocent girls due to dowry issue. Hence, the picture may have changed for upper class societies, the horrible situation of girls not getting equal rights is still deeply rooted in the system.

Furthermore, the timeframe of women in workforce is still limited. Such as, women who becomes mother often sacrifice their career for the betterment of their children. In these kind of countries, brilliant minds often can not survive in the workforce due to invisible pressure from in laws regarding taking care of the children. India is the primary example for such incidents. Thus , equal rights still can not be established due to the century old rules and regulations of such societies.

Therefore, I conclude that, women regardless their nation, culture or society still can not claim the same rights as men. Government of such nations including international organisations should come forward and implement necessary rules and regulations to ensure women get their well deserved rights.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout that societies have not yet achieved true gender equality. The ideas are generally relevant, moving from a discussion of progress in female empowerment, such as increased employability rates in India, to persistent challenges like violence, domestic pressure, and lower-class deprivation. However, some aspects are more fully developed than others, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. For instance, the paragraph detailing workplace challenges following motherhood introduces valid points about invisible pressure from in-laws, but the development remains somewhat generalised and relies heavily on a single national context rather than a broader perspective. The supporting arguments are present and understandable, fulfilling the requirements for a balanced and supported position, though they would benefit from further extension and nuance to achieve complete task mastery.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents an overall coherent arrangement where the main ideas are generally easy to follow. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate different arguments, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing progress and obstacles respectively, and a conclusion. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes mechanical or faulty. Transitional markers like 'Consequently' and 'Thus' are used, but referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'via these states' or 'In these kind of countries', which disrupts the natural flow of ideas. While the logical progression is apparent from paragraph to paragraph, the internal cohesive ties within paragraphs could be managed more smoothly and flexibly to guide the reader effortlessly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'brutal truth', 'deeply rooted', and 'contemporary world'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form that reflect a limiting control over lexical features. Examples include 'women employability rate' instead of female employment rate, 'violance' (spelling error), 'financially challanged' (spelling and collocation), and the phrase 'women regardless their nation' which lacks a preposition. Furthermore, expressions like 'touch the sky' border on informal or clichéd usage for an academic essay. While these vocabulary and spelling errors do not seriously impede communication, they restrict the score because precision and style lack the consistency required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as concessive clauses ('Even though, girls from higher society has been able...') and relative clauses. There are, however, a number of grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions. For example, the writer uses 'since last 50 years' instead of the correct prepositional structure 'over the past 50 years', and 'girls from higher society has been able' contains a plural-singular agreement error. Punctuation errors are also present, such as unnecessary spaces before commas ('present , which', 'Thus , equal rights'). Despite these frequent slips in grammar and punctuation, the structures used do not obscure the core meaning, and simple sentences are generally handled with clear intent, successfully communicating the writer's arguments.

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