Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. However, these societies cannot claim to have gender equality. I firmly believe that the position of women is significant in our societies. If we go back a decade, we can see the women were not allowed to achieve an education, but nowadays individuals prioritize their women's education. Every department creates jobs, particularly for women. In the modern era, women are performing their services in various departments. However, still these societies cannot achieve gender equality.

The first major reason is that god created roles based on gender. Women's responsibilities are far different from men so we cannot argue on gender equality because both have different roles in our societies. The women is responsible for taking care of the childern and home, while the men is responsible for feeding the children and, moreover, providing their children with a high-quality education.

In modern era, women are stepping away from their responsibilities and trying to do the jobs of men, as a result they cannot spend time with their children and lose the emotional bond with their children that women had before with their children.

Children expect emotional investment from their parents, especially from their mother. Currently, women are unable to spare time for their children due to chasing gender equality, leaving their major responsibility and jumping on to the responsibilities of men.

Women and men have very different roles in our society based on gender, so we must acknowledge our jobs without arguing about gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally, as it falls short of the word count requirement, containing 243 words instead of the minimum 250 words (not counting 17 words copied directly from the prompt). Furthermore, the task is addressed only partially. While the student expresses a clear position regarding gender roles and equality, the ideas presented are limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive assertions about natural gender roles rather than fully exploring various facets of the prompt. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to expand the word count to meet the minimum requirement and develop ideas with broader arguments and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text demonstrates some organisation, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, with separate paragraphs for different arguments, but the transitions between them feel mechanical and repetitive. Cohesive devices are used rather simplistically and inaccurately at times, such as the repetitive use of 'however' and 'in modern era'. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, with pronouns like 'their' and 'they' creating ambiguity regarding whether the writer is referring to parents, children, or society. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should ensure a smoother logical progression between paragraphs and vary cohesive devices more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer demonstrates a basic range of words related to society and education, such as 'prioritize', 'responsibilities', and 'department'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'god created roles', 'the women is responsible', and 'achieve an education' instead of 'receive an education'. To move up to a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of less common vocabulary and improve precision in word choice and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic coordination. Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, and there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and articles, such as 'the women were not allowed', 'the women is responsible', and 'the men is responsible'. Punctuation is also inconsistently handled. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic grammatical rules such as pluralisation and subject-verb agreement while attempting a wider variety of accurate complex sentence structures.

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