Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past, but this societies cannot claim to achive gender equality, and i partly agree with this opinions, as i agree that both opinions have valid benefits.

In the past, the womens was not very important, communities was see the women unfair view. also wasn't equal with mans in any thing despite work and salary. but they was have important opinions they say that womens should stay at home without working, and this thing get with success because womens become great mothers and the basis of the house. also womens was the big contribution person in society, because wemens was making the success of houses and they was give high quality of educations to the childrens. womens wasn't have the right of protection, we was see many womens get killed and raped in the past.

Nowadays, the position of woman is different by contrast in the past, woman have many rights.woman now have the right of working and reclamation, for example womans now can work in high levels upper grades and achive the same salary like mans. women take many big responsibilities in the countries, because in many countries now we notice many womens take the heads up of authority like presents and directors, womens now have many rights of protection, nowadays no one can hurt the women because he now the punishment will be hard.

In conclusion, the position of womens now it get stronger than the past. The societies now agree that womens have big contributions in the success of the countries and societies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially. Note that 15 words copied directly from the task prompt were excluded from the final word count, though the length requirement was still met. The writer attempts to express a position regarding gender equality, but the argument remains limited and under-developed throughout the text. While the introduction mentions a partial agreement with the statement, the body paragraphs struggle to sustain a clear line of reasoning. The discussion moves back and forth between past and present conditions without fully exploring the implications of gender equality. Ideas are often repetitive, stating broadly that women now have rights or that they faced difficulties in the past, without providing robust support or well-articulated examples. To reach the next level, the writer needs to present a fully developed position, extend main ideas with relevant explanations, and ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly with greater depth and clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in this response, dividing the content into an introduction, a past-focused body paragraph, a present-focused body paragraph, and a brief conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas. The transitions between sentences feel mechanical and abrupt, and referencing is often unclear, such as the pronoun use in phrases like 'this societies' or 'this thing get with success'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak and repetitive, relying heavily on basic linkers like 'also' and 'nowadays' rather than a varied range of cohesive devices. To improve, the writer should focus on creating a smoother logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring that every idea builds naturally on the previous one and that referencing words point back precisely to their intended antecedents.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for addressing the topic. The vocabulary used is basic and frequently repetitive, with numerous word-form and spelling errors that strain the reader's understanding. Examples include 'achive' instead of achieve, 'womens' as a plural form, 'reclamation', and 'presents' instead of presidents. Collocations are often unnatural, such as 'big contribution person' or 'take the heads up of authority'. While the writer attempts to use some topic-related vocabulary like 'gender equality' and 'salary', the high frequency of inaccurate word choices and spelling mistakes causes some difficulty for the reader. To progress, the student must expand their range of vocabulary, pay closer attention to correct word forms and parts of speech, and practice standard spelling conventions for common academic and general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex ones. Frequent errors are present across almost every sentence, including serious issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this societies', 'the womens was not', 'communities was see'), incorrect verb tenses ('was have', 'it get stronger'), missing or incorrect articles, and poor punctuation. These persistent errors can cause significant difficulty for the reader in interpreting the intended meaning. To move up to the next band, the writer needs to demonstrate control over basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and past/present tense consistency. Furthermore, incorporating a wider variety of error-free complex sentence structures with accurate punctuation will be essential for further improvement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.