Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is a growing debate on position of women has drastically changed in past 5 decades but societies claimed that gender equality has still not been achieved. I agree with the view because most of women are not allowed to work outside home or beign criticised by societies.

In toady's world still most of the houses not allowed women to work outside home because of the thought that women's responsibility is to take care of children and house hold chores. For exmaple, if a women work outside home who will take care of childrens conquently people raises question on her motherhood. As a result, most of women still prefer to stay at home and live their life againt their free will.

On other hand societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality because in most of managerial level and upper postion jobs were for males beacuse people think that they are more sincere with their jobs. For example, women are not put in priority list because if their husband as them to quit job she may quit consequently company have to hire another employee urgently. As a result, most of womens are not getting a good job raises a question on gender equality.

In conclusion, societies still claim that they have not achieved gender equality, although the position of women has changed in past 5 decades. I agree with view that gender equality has still not been achieved.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your response addresses the task only partially, and the length requirement is not met because the essay contains 230 words, falling short of the 250-word minimum (with 8 words copied from the prompt uncounted). Your position is expressed in the introduction and conclusion, agreeing that gender equality has not been achieved, but the ideas presented are limited and under-developed. For example, your point about women working outside the home is supported by repetitive generalisations rather than fully extended arguments, and your second body paragraph relies on somewhat simplistic assumptions about managerial positions and company hiring practices. To reach a higher band, you must ensure you meet the word count minimum, expand fully on your main arguments, and provide more robust, well-developed supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation to your writing, with clear paragraph breaks separating your introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression throughout the essay, and the flow between ideas is frequently hindered by mechanical or inaccurate cohesive devices. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On other hand' and 'In toady's world still most of the houses not allowed' create awkward transitions and repetitive sentence openings. Furthermore, referencing is not always clear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'if their husband as them to quit job she may quit'. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, you need to use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to link your sentences and paragraphs smoothly, ensuring a logical progression of ideas from start to finish.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate basic ideas about women's positions in society. However, there are noticeable lexical errors—including word choice, word form, and spelling mistakes—that cause some difficulty for the reader. Examples include spelling errors like 'beign', 'toady's', 'house hold', 'exmaple', 'conquently', and 'againt', alongside awkward word forms and collocations such as 'upper postion jobs', 'priority list', and 'most of womens'. To progress to a higher lexical band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary, use less common lexical items with greater precision, and carefully check your spelling and word forms before finalising your essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on basic sentence patterns with frequent errors throughout the text. Your attempts at complex sentences are often faulty and contain serious structural flaws, verb form errors, and missing articles or prepositions. For example, expressions like 'position of women has drastically changed' lack necessary articles, and phrases such as 'most of women are not allowed' and 'houses not allowed women' exhibit poor subject-verb agreement and active/passive confusion. Punctuation and clause structures also need substantial tightening. To achieve a higher band, you must gain better control over basic sentence construction, reduce the frequency of grammatical errors, and correctly implement a wider variety of complex sentence forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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