Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, the position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. I partially agree with this view because there are some women who are not allowed to work by their families and some people believe that children are the responsibility of mother but at the same time, there are several women who handle both the family and work and almost an equal number of men and women are considered across all sectors.

Firstly, societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality because there are certain families who do not allow women to go out and work because of their culture. Older people have culture of encouraging women to become only a housewife. Thus, this culture prevents women to achieve gender equality. Additionally, some people believe that children are the responsibility of a mother and she should only focus on them instead of working outside. As a result, they are not hired to work in a company.

On the other hand, there are several women who handle

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant, partially agreeing position and identify two reasons equality remains incomplete: restrictions on women working and expectations that mothers carry childcare responsibilities. However, the response is unfinished: the opposing paragraph stops at “there are several women who handle,” so the promised counterargument and conclusion are absent. The claim that men and women are “almost an equal number” across sectors is introduced but not explained or supported. The response also contains only 150 words, below the required 250; this leaves the task minimally addressed, with ideas insufficiently developed. To improve, complete both sides of your position, add a specific example or explanation for each main point, and finish with a clear conclusion that directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “Firstly,” and the start of a contrasting paragraph marked “On the other hand.” These signals help the reader follow the intended direction. However, the essay ends mid-sentence, so there is no completed progression from the counterargument to a conclusion. Within the first body paragraph, “Additionally” and “As a result” connect related points, although the causal link between mothers being expected to focus on children and not being hired is asserted rather than clearly explained. Develop each paragraph around one complete point, use clear links between claims and examples, and ensure the final paragraph brings the argument to a logical close.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for communicating the central topic, with relevant terms such as “gender equality,” “responsibility,” “culture,” and “housewife.” The repeated use of “women,” “work,” and “achieve gender equality,” however, makes the range seem limited, and some expressions are imprecise or awkward, including “have culture of encouraging” and “almost an equal number of men and women are considered across all sectors.” These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the main ideas, but they reduce precision. Aim for more natural collocations and specific wording—for example, describe barriers to employment or unequal representation directly, and avoid repeating the same key phrases when explaining each point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more extended sentence forms, including a complex opening sentence with “because” and a result clause introduced by “As a result.” Most of the meaning remains understandable. There are some grammatical errors, such as “prevents women to achieve,” where the verb pattern should be “prevents women from achieving,” and “Older people have culture,” which needs an article or a different construction. The unfinished sentence “there are several women who handle” also leaves the final idea incomplete. Practise accurate verb patterns, articles, and complete sentence construction, while continuing to use subordinate clauses to explain causes and consequences.

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