Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadayes, the position of women has changed significantly in many societies over the past 50 year. however, gender equality has still not been fully achieved. nowadays, a women are capable of performing a wide range of jobs in different fields. moreover, women are making significant progress in various fields.

I completely agree, women should have equal rights,safety and protection in all areas of life and families should support women and allow them to pursue their careers. in todayes world, women are achieving greater success in various fields than they did in the past. india has also made progress in womens achievements, as kalpana chawla became the first women of india origin to travel into space.

In my reasons, women should have equal opportunities beacause they are capable of working in different fields. for example, kalpana chawla made history by travelling into space. in my experience, in my hometown near one ledies she name is mrs.rakshatai kadshe she is a sport minister of india.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a clear position in the opening, saying that gender equality “has still not been fully achieved,” and you give relevant examples, including women’s access to different careers and Kalpana Chawla’s achievement. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain in detail which inequalities remain or why progress has not amounted to equality. The examples are named but not developed; the reference to Mrs. Rakshatai Kadshe, for instance, is not connected clearly to a specific point about equality. The response is also 87 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop reasons and examples. Expand the argument with clear explanations and supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening statement is followed by a paragraph expressing agreement and a final paragraph giving reasons and examples. Linking words such as “moreover” and “for example” show awareness of how to connect ideas. However, progression is limited, and the same point—that women can work in different fields—is repeated without being extended. The final paragraph begins “In my reasons,” but the relationship between the reason and the examples that follow is not always clear. Some sentences also shift abruptly from general claims to personal examples. Use separate paragraphs for distinct arguments and make each one follow a clear claim–explanation–example sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “gender equality,” “equal rights,” “protection,” “opportunities,” and “achievements.” These terms help communicate the general subject, and phrases such as “a wide range of jobs” are appropriate. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “different fields” and “various fields.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “Nowadayes,” “todayes,” “beacause,” and “ledies,” which can distract the reader. Aim to use more precise language for the inequalities you discuss, such as workplace discrimination or unequal pay, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to join ideas using “because” and “as.” Meaning is generally understandable, but frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the writing difficult to follow. For example, “a women are capable” has an article and agreement problem, while “families should support women and allow them to pursue their careers” shows a clearer, more controlled structure. Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “however” and “india” after full stops. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex sentences with clear clauses and correct punctuation.

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