Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the last five decades, the positionality of women have changed drastically for the better in many developed socities, but there is still a long way ahead to achieve gender equality. I completely agree with this, as I will be discussing my opinions for the same.

Firstly, Women have face inequality over centuries, and tremendous work has already been done over the last five decads to achieve equality. But, the truth is there is still a great deal of work that needs to be done to achieve gender equality. Sectors such a trucking or labour jobs still prefer men over women regardless of having equal or higher qualification, nontheless women are slowly joining these industires as well against all odds. A personal example, that I can think of is the bus driver who drops me off from the train station is a female.

Secondly, the apex political positions in a country like the president and the prime minister are mostly held by men, similarly the ceo and cfo position of a big company is mostly likely to be aheld by a men, as the women are sidlined and dosen't receive equal opportunities, even if they have the adequate qualification and experience. For example, in many developed arab nations the top ranks in the political system, as well as private mnc's are held by men of that nation. Women are still seen as mere housewives in many developed nations.

In conclusion, gender equality have achieved great success over the decades, but there is still a significant amount of work that needs to be done, before the nations could claim to have achieved gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that progress has been made but equality has not been achieved, and the conclusion returns to this view. The two body paragraphs offer relevant reasons, including women’s limited access to traditionally male occupations and the under-representation of women in senior political and corporate roles. The bus-driver example gives one point a personal illustration. However, some claims are broad and would benefit from specific explanation or evidence—for instance, the statement that women are “mostly” excluded from top positions is not explored in detail. The discussion of progress over the past 50 years is also less developed than the argument about continuing inequality. More balanced, precise support would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two reason-based body paragraphs and a conclusion. “Firstly” and “Secondly” make the progression easy to follow, and each paragraph has a recognisable focus. The conclusion also connects back to the central position. At times, however, the linking feels mechanical, and some relationships between ideas could be made clearer. For example, the move from women entering trucking and labour jobs to the personal bus-driver example is understandable but abrupt. The second paragraph combines political leadership, company roles and social expectations without fully showing how these points connect. Use more precise transitions and develop one idea at a time to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “adequate qualification and experience,” “political positions” and “equal opportunities.” These expressions help communicate the topic, and attempts such as “positionality” and “sidlined” show an effort to use less common language. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “socities,” “decads,” “industires” and “nontheless.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “the positionality of women” and “aheld by a men” do not express the ideas idiomatically. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and proofread spelling; this will make your adequate vocabulary more effective and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “as” and “even if,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, however. Subject–verb agreement is incorrect in “the positionality of women have changed” and “gender equality have achieved”; the latter also gives equality the wrong role in the sentence. There are errors with articles and noun forms in “held by a men,” and the long sentence beginning “Secondly” contains a run-on structure that would be clearer if divided. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “Women” after “Firstly.” More reliable agreement, sentence boundaries and proofreading would improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex structures.

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