Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over past years and socities cannot claim achived gender equality has a hot topic all over the world. women now have more opportunities in education and politice. howerever, i strongly agree that gender equality has not yet been fully changed because wome still face descrimation and inequal responsibility

The main reason is that may women have made great progress in education.In past many women only wokk in house they cannot go to school. In this generation we should behave women and men equal. We should provide khowledge for women. In this time mainy kind women go on politic. Its their right to choose for their future. We should baned childmarriage also. For example many women wok as a doctors, pilot teacher engineers. This shows that society has become more equal then before.

In addition women are still face several problem. One major issues is that men and women salary will be same. We should respect women.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a relevant, clear overall view: you strongly agree that equality has not been achieved, and you mention progress in education and politics alongside continuing discrimination and unequal pay. However, the response is only 156 words, below the required 250; the 12 words copied from the task prompt are not included in that count. This leaves the argument substantially incomplete. The education and career examples (“doctors, pilot teacher engineers”) show change, but do not explain how these examples relate to equality today. The point about salaries is introduced but not developed with an explanation or example. To strengthen the response, explain specific remaining inequalities and support each main point with relevant detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening states your position, followed by paragraphs about progress and continuing problems. Linking phrases such as “The main reason” and “In addition” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, the progression is limited because ideas within the paragraphs are often listed rather than connected through explanation. For example, education, political participation, child marriage and careers appear together without clear links, while the final paragraph ends after introducing salary inequality. Some references, such as “In this time,” are unclear. Use one focused idea per paragraph, then explain and illustrate it; finish with a conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “opportunities in education,” “politic” and “salary,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “socities,” “achived,” “descrimation,” “inequal responsibility” and “wokk.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “behave women and men equal” and “women are still face several problem.” Aim to learn accurate collocations for this topic and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “equal pay,” “political participation” and “unequal domestic responsibilities” would help express your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to communicate a position and give reasons using mostly short statements, with a few attempts to connect clauses, such as “because women still face…” and “For example…”. However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries can obscure meaning. For instance, “women are still face several problem” has an incorrect verb pattern and plural form, while “many women only wokk in house” lacks an article and has an unclear verb construction. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the lowercase start “women now…” and the run-on opening. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although” and “while.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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