Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The world has undergone several positive developments in the past fifty years.Previously women were subjected to injustices and prejudices and were considered a lesser human beings .As the socities progressed ,these primitive concepts were challenged by a mass number of people and the world started to recognize womens importance in the society.However, there is still a considerable gender gap in many countries .I firmly believe that a plethora of women still face unfair treatment and biasness by those in power.

In todays enlightened world the woman is still struggling for her basic human rights .The demand for equal rights and opportunities is viewed as something extraordinary.The plight of women has not ended even in the developed world.There are many democratic countries, where women leaders are hardly seen and accepted.Political parties around the world rarely choose a woman as their boss.

This is the condition of highly educated women of the world ,the other side of the coin where women are not even allowed to study is even more bleak.In that part of the world women are not able to voice their thoughts and whoever dares to challenge the patriarchal system is get penalised for doing so.

The world may have made leaps of progress but it still has to go a long way in achieving gender equality .When women are not emancipated ,they cannot compete with their counterparts .Unempowered women have no choice but to depend on the men of their families.This dependeny never let them get the freedom to choose for themselves.

For instance,in Afghanistan women are still treated as a subject and cannot have their free will to live their lives .In 21st century ,women in this part of the world are living under the shadows of fear and tyranny.

Although in most parts of the world gender equality is a forlorn dream ,Scandinavian countries have succeeded to close the gender gap to a great extent.For example in Finland there is a female prime minister and her cabinet has majority of women on crucial positions.

In conclusion, people around the world has the responsibility to ensure gender equality in all parts of the world.Gender equality can lead to a more just and harmonised world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear throughout: you agree that progress has occurred but that gender equality has not been achieved. You address the issue through political representation, access to education and personal freedom, and the examples of Afghanistan and Finland help make the discussion relevant. This meets the task well, and the range of points shows some of the development expected at a stronger level. However, several claims remain broad rather than fully explained—for example, that political parties “rarely choose a woman as their boss” is not supported with a specific illustration, and the Finland example is asserted without showing how it demonstrates wider equality. Develop fewer points with clearer evidence and explanation to make the argument more consistently convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: it introduces your view, develops barriers to equality, contrasts these with progress in Scandinavia, and concludes with a recommendation. Paragraphing generally helps the reader follow this progression, and transitions such as “For instance” and “Although” signal examples and contrast. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. The shift from educated women to women denied education is introduced as “the other side of the coin,” but the relationship could be explained more precisely. The final paragraph also moves quickly from the Scandinavian example to the conclusion. Use clearer links between each claim and its supporting example, and ensure references such as “this part of the world” have an unmistakable antecedent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and make attempts at less common expressions, including “patriarchal system,” “emancipated,” “tyranny” and “gender gap.” These choices help convey the seriousness of the issue. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “biasness,” “a mass number of people,” “treated as a subject,” and “succeeded to close the gender gap” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling and form errors, such as “socities,” “dependeny” and “womens.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and control. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations where needed, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses beginning “Although” and conditional phrasing such as “When women are not emancipated.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “whoever dares to challenge … is get penalised” has an incorrect verb construction; “This dependency never let them” has a tense/agreement problem; and “people around the world has” has subject–verb disagreement. Article and sentence-boundary control also need attention, as in “a lesser human beings” and the missing spaces after full stops. Review verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation, then proofread each sentence. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen the range you are already attempting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.