Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that in many societies, the position of women has changed in a great deal over last 50 years. However, These societies cannot claim about achievement of the gender equality. I completely agree with this opinion and thinks we are still have not achieved the gender equality.

One of the main reason why position of women has changed in many societies in past 50 years is that more females were focused on their education. This is because females understood the value of education and tend to learn rather than doing nothing. As a result, many occupations, which was previously done by males, now being done by women. For example,At the present there are more female doctors in the medical field compared to past. Therefore we can see a women dominated job market at the present.

However, despite the great success that women have been achieved over last 50 years, the gender equality is still may be a concerning factor. One of the main reason why this has not achieved is that still women may earn less than men for comparable work. This is mainly because people think the work efficiency of women is not enough as is of mens. As a result despite they work much as men, still they may earn less. Also, there are some jobs or occupations cannot be carried out by women. Therefore males are more prefered for such kind of work. For example, for military purposes males are more prefered over women. As a result we cannot achieve the gender equality in such kind of situations.

In conclusion, although the position of woman in societies has changed dramatically over past 50 years, i believe that gender equality is yet to be achieve.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I completely agree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both the change in women’s position and the continuing lack of equality, using education and employment as relevant areas. The example of women entering medicine supports the first point, while unequal pay and military roles relate to the second. This meets the task well, but the development is uneven: the education point is explained mainly through a broad claim, and the military example is asserted rather than supported with a specific reason or evidence. The claim that the job market is “women dominated” also sits uneasily beside your argument and needs clarification. More precise, balanced support would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on progress and remaining inequality, and a conclusion that restates your view. The sequence of ideas is generally easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “As a result,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. This is a coherent arrangement, though some connections feel mechanical because the same result marker is repeated, and the reasoning within paragraphs is not always fully connected. For example, the move from women’s education to a “women dominated job market” needs a clearer explanation. References such as “this has not achieved” also make it less clear what “this” refers to. Use more varied transitions and make links between claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “gender equality,” “occupations,” “comparable work,” and “medical field.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “the position of women” and “work efficiency.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “changed in a great deal,” “claim about achievement,” and “women dominated job market” are not natural in this context; “prefered” is also misspelled. Repeated use of “at the present” and “as a result” reduces flexibility. Aim for more precise expressions for social change, pay disparities, and occupational access, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “although,” and “despite,” so there is some variety. However, errors occur frequently across sentence forms and sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Examples include “I completely agree … and thinks,” “we are still have not achieved,” and “One of the main reason,” which show problems with agreement and verb forms. Other examples include “which was previously done … now being done” and “gender equality is still may be a concerning factor.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention, as in “a women” and “For example,At.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a subordinate clause, then check agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries.

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