Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I strongly agree and it is undeniable that last 50 years women played vital role to change the society through perseverance and hardwork still faces discrimination in gender equality.

I was in a company that was almost male dominant society. Mainly the company focused on real state selling rather than other concerns and the main goal was to bring clients. Clients who would trust the company and buy flats from them with down payment.As a woman I am very compassion , empathy and I have always thought of clients before the company as I know I will be selling their dreams to them . I am really greatful that they have trusted me and bought the flats. But , my company did not praise that and did not pay me the equal commision as they pay to the male co workers. Now, I understood one thing no matter what how much women like me tried to benefit the companies with good sales and their reputation , they never gave the desirable amount to the female co-workers.

Moreover, female who works 9 to 5 in a company still don;t get payed as men. This is not only happening in the corporate but even female teachers , professors who invest their time and energy to build a society despite being a full time mother they are not getting paid equally as man. This is frustrating,deppressing , demotivating and mostly discrimination against women.

Lastly, gender discrimination towards women affects social status of a woman and causes mental trauma , fatigue and medical conditions. I strongly believe that it is high time to work on gender equality as society failed again and again to prove it despite of no matter how hard work women do .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening—“I strongly agree”—and you maintain it by arguing that women still face unequal pay and wider social consequences. The real-estate company example is relevant and gives the essay a personal illustration of workplace discrimination. You also broaden the discussion to teachers and professors, addressing more than one context. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that unequal treatment causes “mental trauma” and medical conditions would benefit from a clearer explanation or supporting example. The discussion also focuses mainly on pay, so the argument would be more complete if it considered other dimensions of equality, such as leadership opportunities or domestic responsibilities. Overall, the task is addressed, but some ideas are less developed than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening position, a workplace example, a broader point about employment, and a concluding statement. Sequencing phrases such as “Moreover” and “Lastly” help signal progression. However, the development within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The long company anecdote moves from the company’s business aims to your approach to clients and then to unequal commission without clear transitions. Some links are also mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the central claim rather than drawing together the main reasons. Clearer paragraphing—separating the personal example from the wider discussion—and more precise links between claims and evidence would make the overall progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “discrimination,” “gender equality,” “social status,” and “mental trauma,” and the personal example gives you opportunities to express specific ideas about sales and commission. There is some range, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “male dominant society,” “real state selling,” and “desirable amount.” Spelling errors, including “hardwork,” “greatful,” “commision,” and “deppressing,” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main argument, but they make parts of the response less natural and precise. Aim to learn common collocations for workplace equality and check spelling carefully during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional-style explanation of your work and a sentence beginning “despite being a full time mother.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, the opening lacks a clear subject and article in “last 50 years women played vital role,” while “female who works 9 to 5 … still don;t get payed” has problems with agreement and sentence construction. The long sentence beginning “As a woman” also joins several ideas without reliable punctuation. Work on articles, subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would help you communicate your ideas more clearly while you build confidence with complex structures.

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