Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Over the recent 50 years, the role of a women has changed significantly in the society. With the access to the internet, education and various sort of other oppertunites, they thrived in diffrent kinds of fields and played important role in the growth of a society. However, i agree to a large extent that women in many societies are still facing gender based discrimination and the access to basic needs has also been declined for many of them. Specifically in developing countries, many women are still struggling to get education and positions in man-dominated fields.

It is ture that the government in many countries have made laws to protect womens rights and started various initiatives to empower them. For example, many female students in Pakistan have recieved a free scooty under the scheme by the governmet of Pakistan. This initiative helped many women to overcome the problem of transport and continue their education.

However, true gender equality still could not be achived. Many women are confined to domestic roles and their rights are still denied. For example, many deserving students could not get the scooty because their families and society considers it unappropirate for girls to ride vehcles. Furthermore, in Afghanistan, women are not allowed to get higher education and they are prohibited to leave their houses without a male guardian.

It can be observed that the actual problem lies in the mentalities of men and societies. Many women are not allowed to go outside and work in the name of culture, religion and traditions. While those who work are the victims of gender based voilence. Particularly, women in men dominated fields such as engineering and business, are considred inferior and they are not given equal pay as men.

In conclusion, I would say that the education of these people is a must in order to achieve gender equality. Therefore, the government should take steps to ensure a society that treats men and women equaly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you agree to a large extent that societies have not achieved gender equality, and this view is maintained through the essay. You address both progress and continuing inequality, using the Pakistan transport initiative to illustrate support for women and Afghanistan to show restrictions on education and movement. The discussion of unequal pay and discrimination in male-dominated fields adds relevant support. These examples extend your main argument, although some claims—such as women being victims of gender-based violence—would be stronger with a brief explanation or specific illustration. The conclusion offers a relevant recommendation, but could more directly summarise why progress has not yet amounted to equality. Overall, the response addresses the task and supports its position, while some points remain broad or unevenly developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: it introduces your position, acknowledges government initiatives, contrasts these with continuing restrictions, and ends with a recommendation. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. The examples are generally placed alongside the points they support, particularly the scooty scheme and the restrictions in Afghanistan. To make the progression more seamless, clarify the relationship between the opening claim about access to basic needs and the later examples, and connect the final paragraph more explicitly to the causes discussed earlier. Some transitions are predictable, but cohesion remains clear and the organisation supports the argument throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender-based discrimination,” “empower them,” “domestic roles,” and “equal pay,” which allows you to discuss the issue clearly. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “male-dominated fields.” However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “oppertunites,” “diffrent,” “achived,” and “voilence,” and some word combinations are awkward or imprecise. For example, “the access to basic needs has also been declined” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “a free scooty” could be phrased more formally. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Focus on accurate spelling and natural collocations when revising your vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “those who work are the victims…” and the contrast introduced by “While.” Most ideas remain understandable, and the errors rarely obstruct communication. Some grammatical inaccuracies persist, however. In the opening, “the role of a women” has an article and singular/plural mismatch, while “the government … have made laws” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also missing or incorrect articles and forms in phrases such as “played important role” and “women’s rights.” Review agreement, articles, and possessives, and check sentence punctuation—for example, the comma before “are considered inferior” is unnecessary. Greater accuracy across these patterns would strengthen your control.

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