Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

World is changing rapidly. During the past few years, many countries in the world has tried to provide more women rights to the women living there. In my opinion, despite trying to established gender equality the society still has a long way to go in order to achieve it fully.

Nowadays, gender equality is an important topic of discussion. Feminism has played an important role in it. The feminist movements around the world has insisted many societies to take the topic of women rights seriously. For example, in the past the women in many countries do not have a right to vote in the elections but in the twenty first century this practice has changed, the societies are now providing women with the opportunity to vote and express their electoral right.Furthermore, many countries has established strict punishment on any type of violence against women.For example, the UK has annouced strict punishment on any crime against women. In the practical field many women are now being paid equally as men, according to their hardwork and expertise.

However, despite all the efforts of feminist and societies the gender equality is still not established fully. For example, in afghanistan young women are still are not allowed to get education, they are being prisioned in their home under the strict taliban instructions. Similarly, the afghan women cricket and football team are not allowed to play at international or national level under taliban regime.Furthermore, in many countries women are still not being paid equally as men despite doing equal hardwork.

In conclusion, i fully agree that during past 50 years the women rights situation has improved, but in order to claim that gender equality has achieved the societies and women right organizations still need to strive a lot.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that women’s rights have improved but that gender equality has not yet been achieved. You address both sides of the statement, using voting rights, legal protections and pay as evidence of progress, then Afghanistan and unequal pay to show continuing barriers. These examples are relevant, and the conclusion returns to your view. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim about strict punishment in the UK would be stronger with a precise example or an explanation of how this advances equality. The discussion of equal pay is also brief. To develop the response further, explain the significance of each example and connect it explicitly to the extent of equality achieved.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs contrast progress with continuing inequality, and a conclusion summarises your position. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Furthermore,” “However” and “Similarly” help readers follow the argument. This clear structure is a strength. At times, though, the progression feels somewhat mechanical because several points are added through repeated “Furthermore” and “For example” rather than being connected through explanation. The long first body paragraph also combines voting, violence and pay, while the second moves quickly between education, sport and pay. Grouping related points and adding clearer links that explain how each example supports the main claim would make the progression more flexible and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including “gender equality,” “feminist movements,” “electoral right” and “violence against women.” Some choices show an attempt to be precise, but several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “provide more women rights,” “insisted many societies” and “established strict punishment.” Spelling errors, including “annouced” and “prisioned,” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of “women,” “societies” and “gender equality” limits flexibility. Aim to learn common collocations and use them accurately—for example, “grant women more rights,” “urge societies to address” and “impose strict penalties.” More precise vocabulary would help express the argument with greater fluency and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses beginning “despite” and a sentence using “Similarly.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries occur across the response. Examples include “many countries … has tried,” “movements … has insisted,” and “despite trying to established”; these should be “have tried,” “have urged,” and “trying to establish.” The sentence beginning “For example, in the past…” runs several ideas together and needs clearer punctuation or division into shorter sentences. There are also missing or inconsistent capital letters, such as “i” and “afghanistan.” Review subject–verb agreement and practise punctuating longer sentences while retaining a mix of structures.

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