Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the past many years , women empowerment has bring alot of changes in the standing of the women in many societies. There is a argument that instead of the contemperory position of the women in many countries, societies cannot claim that they have achieved gender equality. I completely agree with this view that despite the changing position of the females, countries have yet not achieved gender equality.

One of the main reason of favouring this is that still in the work environment there is still gender inequality in different aspects like in case of wages. Still in many countries, Men are payed more than women with equal burden of work but the amount of money varies. For example , in Pakistan men are payed more for same amount of work . The reason involved is that men are the bread winner of the house so they should be payed extra regardless of being payed on efforts.

Other reason , involve that people promote equity rather than equality. They believe there are certain roles that should be specified for men and women respectively. For example, Men are responsible for the works outside the home where women are confined to household chores. These promote the values of equity rather than equality.However, there are some efforts made for the gender equality by protecting the rights of women. Nowadays women rights are more important which eradicate domestic violence, work environment harrasment and giving equal opportunities as of men to encourage and promote women empowerment.

In conclusion, currently women holds a much safer position than past in many societies but still the many societies cannot claim that they have achieved gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and the conclusion returns to this view. You give relevant reasons, including unequal pay and expectations that women should do household work while men work outside the home. The Pakistan example helps make the pay point more concrete, and you acknowledge some progress in protecting women’s rights. However, the discussion of these efforts is brief, and the claim that people promote “equity rather than equality” is not fully explained or clearly distinguished. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with a fuller explanation or example and connect it explicitly to why equality remains incomplete. This would make the support more consistently developed across the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from unequal pay to traditional roles and then to improvements in women’s rights. Linking phrases such as “For example,” “However” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. The second body paragraph moves from gender roles to progress in legal protections without a clear transition, and “Other reason, involve” does not establish the relationship between the point and the previous paragraph smoothly. Some repeated wording, such as “still” and “gender equality,” also makes the flow less flexible. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions that show whether a point adds evidence, contrasts with an earlier point, or qualifies your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “gender inequality,” “equal opportunities,” “domestic violence” and “household chores,” so the main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more formal expressions, such as “bread winner” and “confined to,” but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “women empowerment has bring,” “the contemperory position,” and “payed on efforts.” Spelling errors such as “alot,” “harrasment” and “contemperory” further reduce precision. Some wording is repetitive, particularly “women,” “men” and “gender equality.” Build a more reliable range of collocations and check word forms and spelling; for example, use “women’s empowerment,” “contemporary status,” and “paid according to their performance.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession introduced by “However” and a relative clause in “roles that should be specified for men and women.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical control is uneven, and errors occur in basic verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction. Examples include “women empowerment has bring,” “There is a argument,” “Men are payed,” and “women holds.” The sentence beginning “Other reason, involve” is also structurally faulty, while punctuation spacing and the missing space after “equality.However” affect readability. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and revise each sentence for a complete, correctly connected structure. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex ideas easier to follow.

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