Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that the status quo of women has changed tremendously over the past five decades or so in many societies. But equality of genders has not yet been acheived by these societies. I agree with this sentiment because of the existence of unequal distribution of benefits and a patriarchial focused society.

For a long time, women have been considered less important and fragile than men. They were denied of education and rights in order to put them down. Through countless revolutions, their status in society slowly became better. Women are now doing jobs and contributing equally like a men does in a society. They are also becoming distinguished individuals in every available sector. Governments are putting more emphasis on working women and creating more opportunities for a better livelihood. But, our society still focuses on men. It prioritizes a male's opinion over a female. Companies may develop more scopes for women but they still are offering less benefits over a male employee. For example, women are paid less than a man for doing the same amount of work. Hence, there remains a huge disparity between the two genders.

In many nations, a patriarchial society is usually evident. The key decision makers of a family are usually domineered by male members of the society. The public also tends to believe a man over a woman due to the superstitions and formalities. For example, in many areas, a women can't talk over their husband or any male members because it is shown as disprespect and sometimes as a punishable offence. Hence, the women of the society fall behind their male counterpart in terms of decision making and giving opinions in discussions.

Overall, the gender equality can't be achieved by societies even though the status of women has seen tremendous changes over the decade. This is due to the uneven distribution of compensation and existence of male dominated society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and you give two relevant reasons—unequal workplace benefits and male-dominated decision-making. The examples about unequal pay and women being discouraged from speaking in family or public settings help address the question. This meets the task well, and the response shows some of the stronger development expected at the next level. However, the workplace point is more clearly explained than the second reason, which relies on broad claims about “many nations” and “the public” without a specific illustration or explanation of how these patterns persist. Develop each reason with more precise evidence and show more explicitly how women’s position has changed while equality remains incomplete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates the argument. The progression from historical changes to continuing workplace inequality is understandable, and examples are generally placed beside the points they support. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical: “Hence” appears repeatedly, and “But” begins several sentences where a more precise link could show contrast or consequence. Some references are also broad, such as “they” and “the society,” so readers must infer exactly who or what is meant. Use a wider range of linking methods, connect claims more explicitly, and make references specific to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “disparity,” “decision makers,” and “male dominated society,” which allows you to discuss both employment and social attitudes. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “status quo of women,” “patriarchial focused society,” and “creating more scopes.” Spelling errors such as “acheived,” “disprespect,” and “patriarchial” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Choose established collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “the status of women,” “patriarchal society,” and “opportunities” in these contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “because of the existence…” and “even though the status of women has seen…” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the paragraph structure helps the reader follow the argument. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. Examples include “like a men does,” “a women can’t,” and “the gender equality can’t be achieved”; these should be “as men do,” “a woman can’t,” and “gender equality can’t be achieved.” The sentence “The key decision makers of a family are usually domineered by male members” also has an awkward passive construction. Review articles and singular/plural agreement, and aim for more consistently accurate complex sentences.

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