Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern world, the position of women has taken a great shift in many socities over the last 50 years. Today women are playing a major role in every field and there is an outgoing debate why these societies have not been able to give women same rights as men. In my point of view, i totally agree with this statement that even after half a century women are still not given the gender equality.

One of the main reasons is that the patriarchy system that has been going on in our society over a long time period. In other words, men are always prefered over the women in every aspects. This injustice has been done by their own families who give priority to men. Men are given better eduaction options and better health facilities for just beacause of their gender. They believe that men are breadwinners and women are caregivers. These sterotypes often favour men for leaderships and other aspects.

Another reason is that why socities cannot claim gender equality is that for the same working position and same amount of workload women are paid less. Globally women are paid unfair for the workload and not only that if they are housewives they are not given a single penny for all the work they do at home. It takes their energy and time and can limit up ther full time career advancement.

To encapsulate , although it is acommon belief taht women' position have changed a greta dealin many socities. these socities still cannot claim gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you “totally agree” that societies have not achieved gender equality, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address the question with two relevant reasons: unequal treatment within families and lower pay, including the unpaid work of housewives. These points show a sound response to the task. However, the family example is asserted rather than illustrated, and the pay paragraph would be stronger with a specific example or explanation of how pay inequality persists. The conclusion mostly repeats the claim instead of drawing the reasons together. To develop the response further, explain the effects of each example and connect them explicitly to why social change has not yet produced equality.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from family and social expectations to workplace inequality is logical, and phrases such as “One of the main reasons” and “Another reason” help signal the organisation. This gives the essay an overall coherent arrangement. Some connections are less smooth, however: “Another reason is that why societies cannot claim…” is awkwardly constructed, and the final paragraph begins with “To encapsulate” before repeating the introduction’s claim. Referencing such as “These stereotypes” is understandable but could be tied more precisely to the preceding ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions that show how each example supports your central position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “patriarchy,” “breadwinners,” “caregivers,” “leadership,” and “career advancement.” These choices show an attempt to discuss social and economic causes rather than relying only on basic terms. However, the range is limited in places, and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “socities,” “eduaction,” “stereotypes,” and “paid unfair” are examples. Some collocations are also unnatural, such as “taken a great shift” and “every aspects.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they make the writing less fluent. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common combinations such as “undergone significant change,” “in every aspect,” and “are paid unfairly.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the explanation beginning “They believe that men are breadwinners…” and the clause about unpaid work limiting career advancement. The main ideas are generally understandable, but control is uneven, and complex constructions are often faulty. For example, “men are always prefered over the women” has an incorrect verb form, while “Another reason is that why societies cannot claim…” combines structures incorrectly. There are also errors with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “In modern world” and the run-on final sentence. These patterns explain why grammatical accuracy is not yet consistent. Practise building one clear main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses and check verb forms, articles, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.