Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The topic of gender equality is becoming to the top of discussions across the world. The socities and families were male domiated in past but position of a women has changed in many socities in recent half century towars the equality of rights. However there are concerns about claming the achivement of gender equality. I strongly disagree with this statement.

In one aspect today females and playing very crucial role in the economy of and development of a socity. Although women are doing house holding things but also they are ruling the states. Moreover they are takling apart in every feild of life. There is a long list of exaples like woman is working as officer in forces,doing corporate level jobs,chairing the organizations and siting on the most powerful postions of the cuntries like prime minister and president.

On the other hand, In some socities there is a debate of women on not getting equal rights like women education is uncommom in some socities which causes the the lack of knowleadge and not getting the jobs. Futhermore women have to work all the day at home taking care of their chiderns with leads them not to groom themself.These are the some factors which cause the unavaibilites of women in higher postion in some societies.

In conclusion the postion of women has been imroved towards getting eqal rights in many societies. So these societies can claim to have achieved grender equality. Now the woman is contributing in every part of life in society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is stated clearly in the introduction and conclusion: you disagree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and you mention women’s roles in government, business and other fields. These examples are relevant, but they are mostly listed rather than explained, so the argument does not fully show why visible participation means equality has been achieved. The paragraph beginning “On the other hand” raises important counterpoints, including unequal access to education and unpaid care work, but these points are not reconciled with your final claim. As a result, the response addresses the topic but develops its position only partially. To strengthen it, define what you mean by equality and explain how your examples support that definition while acknowledging continuing inequalities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the other hand” helps readers identify a shift to continuing disadvantages, and “In conclusion” clearly marks the ending. However, progression between the ideas is limited: the first body paragraph lists women’s roles, while the next presents barriers, but the relationship between these points and your overall disagreement is not made clear. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the claim without resolving the contrast. Improve cohesion by organising each paragraph around one main point, using clear references to connect examples to that point, and adding a sentence that explains how the counterargument affects your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “economy,” “education,” “corporate level jobs” and “powerful positions.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing the issue. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are frequent enough to make parts difficult to read, for example “socities,” “male domiated,” “taking apart,” and “unavaibilites.” Some expressions are also vague, such as “house holding things” and “a long list of examples.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases. More precise terms such as “unpaid domestic work,” “participate in,” and “senior positions” would help you express your ideas clearly and appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession beginning “Although women…” and a relative clause in “which causes the lack of knowledge.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “Although women are doing house holding things but also they are ruling the states” combines incompatible clause patterns, while “women have to work all the day at home taking care of their chiderns with leads them” has problems with clause connection and sentence structure. There are also errors in articles, agreement and punctuation, as in “position of a women” and “In one aspect today females and playing.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause before adding more complexity.

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