Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is firmly believed that position of women has changed a great deal in significant socities over the past 50 years. However, these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. I am inclined to agree with this point because some people argue that a significant number of works that today women is still unable to do.

One of the primary reason is that, womens have flexible working hour while mens don't have any kind of flexibilty. In many countries, companies still show concern about women safety so, they don't allow them to stay much in the officies. For instance, there are much harrasment cases reported on daily basis. Womens safety is really essential part of every society. Consequently, giving them flexible working hours prevent them from serious accident.

One of the compelling reason is that, womens work in every field. However, there are many works that womens are unable to do because of there biological system. To illustrate, womens are in amry can defend their country on various places but heads prevent to send them on line of control because some times their health is not allowing them to take any kind of risk. Hence, society cannot believe on gender equality.

In the line of arguments presented, i am convinced that without doubting womens position has changed over the past years but it doesn't mean that womens are equal to mens.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you agree that change has not yet produced equality, and you give examples involving workplace safety and women’s roles in the military. However, the response only partially addresses the question because the reasons are not developed convincingly. The claim that women have flexible hours while men do not is unclear, and the military example relies on broad claims about biology and health rather than explaining how these demonstrate unequal treatment. The conclusion repeats your view but adds little. The response contains 214 words, so it is 36 words below the required minimum; 18 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To strengthen the response, explain two relevant forms of continuing inequality, support each with a specific example, and clarify how they relate to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs are generally focused on one main point, and signposts such as “For instance,” “To illustrate,” and “Consequently” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion moves from workplace flexibility to safety, then to harassment, without clearly explaining the connection. The repeated openings “One of the primary reason” and “One of the compelling reason” also make the organisation feel formulaic. Some links, such as “Hence, society cannot believe on gender equality,” do not clearly follow from the preceding example. Use clearer topic sentences and explain each example’s relevance before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “flexible working hours,” “harassment,” and “biological system,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make parts of the response difficult to interpret. For example, “works that today women is still unable to do” is unclear, while “heads prevent to send them” does not identify who is making the decision. There are also repeated forms such as “womens” and “mens,” and misspellings including “socities,” “officies,” and “amry.” Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing discrimination, workplace barriers and representation, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a subordinate clause in “because some people argue…” and a contrast introduced by “However.” Nevertheless, errors are frequent, and some sentence structures make the intended meaning hard to follow. Examples include “a significant number of works that today women is still unable to do,” where the clause structure and subject–verb agreement are faulty, and “giving them flexible working hours prevent them,” where the verb does not agree with its subject. Articles, plurals and possessives are also inconsistent, as in “One of the primary reason” and “womens safety.” Punctuation around introductory phrases and commas is sometimes inaccurate. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, articles and punctuation.

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