Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's rapidly changing world there are various mass which believe that there have been alot of changes noticed in the position of socity dealing with womens in past 50 years but still their are some citizens who does not empower gender equality. I firmly agree with this statement after all of this development still there are various sectors in which womens are not treated well and in this essay these areas would be highlighted in following passage.

In this moder era women have worked alot to fight for their rights and they have been concer in almost every sector in world such as truck driving, walding, pumbing and other such works which are only done my males earlier. Moreover, their is not even a single work in which women are not treated equaly now, to illustrate, Kalpana Chawa is the best example to show women empowerment because she was the first women astornaut of India who went to moon.

On the other hand, after all of this achivments still their are various groups who does not believe in gender equality, they say that some work are only ment to be done by mens, womens should not take part in it. activites like mining, driving heavy trucks, cash management and such other activites. Moreover, work which need high attension should also be done my male in such sectors gender equality is not applicable, for exaple, Army air force sector it is an high reponsiblity work and it should not be given in ths hand of spoiled women.

To conclude, I believe that work should not be divided on the basis of gender it should be athorised on the basis of skills or ablity, their should not be any kind of discrimination in any sector in the socity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is stated clearly in the introduction and conclusion: you agree that gender equality has not been achieved, and you argue that work should be based on ability rather than gender. The response also gives relevant examples, including women entering traditionally male occupations and the claim that some people still exclude women from certain roles. However, the discussion is only partly developed and contains a significant contradiction: you say “there is not even a single work in which women are not treated equally now,” then argue that women face discrimination in several sectors. The example of Kalpana Chawla shows women’s achievement, but does not directly demonstrate continuing inequality. Develop specific evidence of unequal treatment, such as pay, promotion, or representation, and explain how it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from women’s employment to an astronaut example without explaining the connection to the claim that equality remains incomplete. Some transitions are also mechanical, and references such as “these areas” and “after all of this development” do not clearly identify the ideas being discussed. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and support it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “gender equality,” “women empowerment,” “discrimination,” and “responsibility,” and you use examples of occupations to make the discussion concrete. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the argument harder to follow, such as “various mass,” “concer,” “attension,” and “spoiled women.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, including “work which need high attention” and “cash management” as examples of jobs restricted by gender. Aim for accurate, formal collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “occupational discrimination,” “leadership roles,” and “equal access to employment” would help you express the argument clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the reader work to understand your points. For example, “there are some citizens who does not empower gender equality” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “some work are only ment to be done by mens” contains errors in agreement and plural formation. The opening sentence also runs several ideas together without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses; check that subjects and verbs agree and that each sentence has a clear boundary.

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