Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The women position has been changed considerably over the 50 years. Although women are controbuting in several sectors of society. I partly, disagree that gender equality has been fully achieved, because discrimination stil exist in numerous circumstances.

To beign with nowadays women play a substantial role in society. They are working with similar potential as men do. They occupied with the profession of bussinessmen, Doctor , nurse , and engineer. Female also doing farming and teaching . Moreover by getting higher education they can become politicians, and thus how they can ruled the world. In addition many of them choose to be a housewife for taking care of their family and children. However some women taking military course to protect ther country and for this they must have to go through some significant factors and hardworks and they are overcoming these obstacles in a same way what men do.

Even tough, women creating equality by their works , in some bussiness farm and workplace they become victims of negative outlooks of men for instance sometimes they can face bullying. Additionally some times they can have criticism by men. Their manager can distributed them by gender as a result even if having proficiency and more work hours, promotion and other facilities may be given to the men. Women also dominated by job oppurtunities because in this term companies and jobholders keep more attentions on men candidates rather than females. Not only developing or poor countries but also in developed countries eve -teasing is rising for male ego in order to this negative approaches the equality is getting hampered.

Many observer and critics assert that the position of women in society has changed significanty but the poor and awful situation of women in workplace and society still emerged. Therefore I beileved that though women are entering on some works , still they are manipulated by so called men.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a relevant, partly disagreeing position: the opening says equality has not been fully achieved, and the essay gives examples of women’s participation as well as continuing discrimination. The workplace discussion—bullying, unequal promotion and fewer opportunities—directly addresses the question. However, the position is not consistently precise: phrases such as “women creating equality” and the conclusion’s claim that women are “manipulated” do not clearly explain how far equality has been achieved. Several points, including women’s roles in professions and military service, are listed rather than explained or supported with a specific example. Develop fewer arguments in more depth, and make the extent of your agreement explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the broad movement from women’s changing roles to ongoing inequality is relevant. You also attempt to connect ideas with expressions such as “Moreover,” “However” and “Additionally.” At times, though, progression is difficult to follow because several examples are crowded together, and some links do not show a clear relationship. For instance, the transition from education to “thus how they can ruled the world” is unclear, while the final body paragraph shifts from workplace treatment to eve-teasing without explaining the connection. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main point, then group and explain supporting examples; check that each linking phrase accurately reflects the logic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “substantial role,” “higher education,” “promotion,” “proficiency” and “job opportunities.” These choices show an effort to discuss both social change and discrimination. However, the range is limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations, which sometimes make the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “controbuting,” “bussiness farm,” “negative outlooks of men” and “eve-teasing is rising for male ego.” Some words are also used in forms that do not fit the intended meaning, such as “dominated by job opportunities.” Build accuracy by learning common collocations for equality and employment, and proofread spelling. Prefer precise phrases such as “face discrimination in hiring” over unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because” and “even if.” This gives the response some structural variety, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the argument hard to follow. For example, “Although women are controbuting in several sectors of society” is an incomplete sentence, and “they can ruled the world” has an incorrect verb form. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement and sentence construction, as in “Female also doing farming” and “their manager can distributed them.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and finite verb, then check tense, agreement and verb patterns. Shorter, accurate sentences would improve clarity.

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