Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past few years, the role of women has undergone a remarkable transformation in many countries. I strongly agree with the given statement that still we cannot claim to have gender equality. Following paragraphs will shed light on my claim in the best possible way.

To begin with, Over the past half century the position for women in society has improved in a significant way, there was the time when women were restricted to households and they had to face problems to find jobs or to get high education but in current era situation is opposite. By looking at our surrounding we can see women taking part in life activities such as sports ,business and in medical fields and the way the are performing is impressive. By giving a tough competition to males they are equally contributing to society growth.

On the flip side of coin, we cannot deny the fact that our society is male dominant hence sometimes women have to face some equality issued for example about pay checks, It has been noticed at many places that women gets a low salary as compared to male at same position while they also struggle when it comes about promotion specifically towards decision making role such as board of directors or finance head or some other senior position as for such position males are preferred mostly which is a society stereotype.

To sum up my views, Although we made a huge progress in terms of women positioning but still there are many factors where we need to focus and until we do so we cannot claim gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that gender equality has not yet been achieved, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address both the change in women’s position and the continuing inequalities, using relevant examples such as women’s participation in sport and business, unequal pay, and limited access to senior roles. These points establish a relevant response, but they are not developed equally: the first body paragraph mainly lists areas of participation, while the second gives more specific explanation of workplace barriers. To strengthen the argument, explain how these examples demonstrate broader social change and support claims with a concrete illustration or further reasoning. This would make the discussion more consistently extended and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the flip side,” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the argument, and the overall progression is easy to follow. However, some linking is mechanical, and the first body paragraph contains several ideas joined into a long sentence, making their relationships less clear. The reference in “until we do so” is also broad: it is not fully clear which specific actions are meant. Use a wider range of natural transitions, divide the long sentence into clearer units, and make references explicit. This would make cohesion more flexible and precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “male dominant,” “salary,” “promotion,” and “decision making role.” These terms allow you to discuss social and workplace inequality, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more expressive phrasing, such as “remarkable transformation” and “tough competition,” though some combinations are unnatural or imprecise. Examples include “equality issued,” “women positioning,” and “the position for women”; these weaken accuracy and naturalness. Aim for more precise collocations and consistent formal wording, such as “gender-related inequalities,” “women’s status,” and “senior decision-making positions.” This would improve control while retaining the relevant range already present.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “although” and a relative clause in “which is a society stereotype.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and reduce accuracy. For example, “women gets a low salary” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the way the are performing” has an incorrect pronoun. The sentence beginning “Over the past half century” joins independent clauses with commas, and “Although we made a huge progress … but” uses an incorrect conjunction pattern. Review agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and practise building complex sentences with one clear grammatical structure. More consistent accuracy would make your varied sentence attempts more effective.

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