Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Women has achieved a lot in different fields over the past 50 years and their position has changed in many societies due their accomplishments. But still these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. I fully agree with this statement as there are still a lot of positions where women deserve to be, but they're not given those roles because of their gender.

Majority people still do not believe in equality and they think men are superior, and are much better in decision making, and running an organisation. For example, women still aren't considered worthy enough to become the Chief of Army Staff of their country. In Pakistan, only 1 women has been able to achieve the rank of Lt General, and despite her accomplishments, she wasn't even considered for the Chief's role.

Furthermore, majority companies always prefer a male employee over a female, no matter how much more accomplished she is compared to her male opponents. For example, I applied for a job and was given the chance to give an interview. I had a conversation with my opponent who was a male and he had no experience in that field, where as I had an experience of 2+ years. But the company still went ahead with the male candidate because they assumed it would be easy for him to commute to the office.

I believe that no society can claim that they have achieved gender equaltiy until the women of that society vouches that they were given every opportunity that was available to every other individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you fully agree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and both examples—women’s limited access to senior military roles and your job-selection experience—are relevant to the question. The conclusion also returns to the issue of equal opportunity. This meets the task well, but the support is uneven: the military example is specific, while the claim that companies “always prefer a male employee” is very broad and is supported mainly by one personal experience. Explain more fully how these examples demonstrate a wider pattern, and acknowledge that progress differs between societies. That additional development and qualification would make the argument more consistently convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. “Furthermore” signals the move to the second reason, and “For example” introduces supporting evidence in both body paragraphs. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes abrupt, and some links between claims and evidence need to be made more explicit. For instance, after the general claim about companies preferring men, explain how the interview experience illustrates gender-based assumptions rather than leaving the reader to infer the connection. The conclusion’s final criterion for equality also arrives without being developed earlier. More deliberate transitions and clearer referencing would make cohesion less mechanical and the argument flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss the topic, including “gender equality,” “accomplishments,” “decision making,” and “Chief of Army Staff.” These choices communicate the central ideas, and the military and employment examples give you opportunities to use topic-specific language. Some wording is imprecise or repetitive, however: “opponent” is not natural for another job applicant, and “positions where women deserve to be” is vague. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “equaltiy” and “1 women.” Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated terms such as “women” and “societies.” This would make the argument sound more controlled and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “But still these societies cannot claim…” and the conditional structure “until the women of that society vouches…”. Meaning is generally clear, but some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “Women has achieved” should be “Women have achieved,” and “Majority people” needs an article or a different construction, such as “Most people.” In “the women … vouches,” the verb should agree with the plural subject. The long sentence beginning “I applied for a job” also needs clearer punctuation and structure. Check subject–verb agreement and article use, then edit longer sentences for clarity; greater accuracy across these forms would strengthen your control.

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