Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Over the past half century, we have seen a great change in women's position in many societies, yet, its often argued that these societies are unsuccessful in achieving gender equality, I agree with this arguement but that doesn't mean that these societies have failed in progressing completely.

In many developing countries, like Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, government, activities and human right institutions have worked very hard on women empowerment, and results of their efforts are visible, litracy rate of women have increased over the past decads that results in more women getting out of their homes for work, participating in economic growth of their countries.

With that being said, the issue of gender inequality still remains at its place. Firstly, with increasing number of working ladies, the most common discrimination is their payscales. Women are often hired at lower wages than man with equal skillset. A survey conducted by BBC in India, employers are likely to pay a male higher than a female at the same position because according to the employer, there are uncertainity attached with female employees regarding their long term commitments with their job, that results in hesitation from employers in hiring female candidates and when they do they prefer to pay them less.

Secondly, although the females are progressing in socities, supporting their families financially and walking with men along side, yet, the cultural and socital expectations from the women is not changing, they are expected to manage all the housechores, kids and family themselves. Unlike men, women are expected to do all these along with their jobs which creates a very strong psycological pressure on ladies which ultimately impact their lives.

In conclusion, while socities are progressing, position of women is changing significantly in societies but the fact that gender inequality is still deep rooted in the these socities can not be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you agree that gender equality has not been achieved, while recognising that women’s status has improved. You address both sides of the prompt and support your view with relevant points about literacy and employment, unequal pay, and the continuing expectation that women manage domestic responsibilities. The examples make the response purposeful, and the conclusion returns to the central argument. Some claims, particularly the reference to a BBC survey and employers’ assumptions about women’s commitment, would be stronger with more precise evidence or explanation. The discussion of progress through education is also less developed than the inequality points. Extending that point and linking each example more explicitly to equality would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on progress, two paragraphs on continuing inequality, and a conclusion. The sequence of ideas is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers identify the argument’s stages. This gives the essay a coherent foundation. However, some linking is mechanical, and the long sentence beginning “A survey conducted by BBC in India” joins several claims without a clear grammatical or logical connection. The opening also uses “yet” and “but” close together, making the contrast feel repetitive. Use a wider range of transitions and clearer sentence boundaries, and ensure references such as “these societies” have an unmistakable antecedent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “women empowerment,” “economic growth,” “discrimination,” and “cultural expectations.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and phrases such as “deep rooted” convey the persistence of inequality. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “long term commitments,” though some combinations are imprecise or unnatural: “payscales” would be better expressed as “pay levels” or “wage rates,” and “walking with men along side” does not naturally express equal participation. Spelling errors such as “litracy,” “decads,” and “socital” also affect accuracy. Focus on standard spelling and natural collocations, especially when describing employment and social expectations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses (“although the females are progressing…”) and cause-and-effect relationships (“which creates…,” “which ultimately…”). The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation reduce control. For example, the opening is a run-on sentence, and “A survey conducted by BBC in India, employers are likely to pay…” lacks a grammatical connection between its opening phrase and main clause. In “literacy rate of women have increased,” the subject and verb do not agree; “that results” also needs to match the plural idea of increased rates. Break up long sentences and check agreement and article use to make complex ideas more accurate.

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