Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, the women lead to changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 decades. However, these societies do not claim to have achieved gender equality. I agree with this viewpoint because of still less opportunities for women and cannot work in men domiance, which holds more importance.

One of the major reason for my approveal is that still less opportunities for women. This is due to the fact that at present people still believe in gender equality because if female want to work outside, they cannot make their career in better field due to gender equality, get less attraction at working places, and in some companies women still not allowed to work. For instance, nowadays women are starting their own bussines online and offline, by which they are making profit more than men bussines.

Another reason considering for my agreement in this statement is that cannot work in men domiance. To elaborate, if women want to work men's domiance they faces many difficulaty regared their achievements and in other activities, and their male co-workers also feel disguisted when they are working around them. Foe instance, many women start they big companies to achieve higher working opportunities to work with int

To conclude, it clear from aboved mentioned points that societies still cannot to achieved women because of still less opportunities and cannot work in men's domiance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I agree with this viewpoint”—and give two relevant areas: unequal opportunities and difficulties in male-dominated workplaces. However, the explanation is often unclear or contradictory. For example, saying women “cannot make their career in better field due to gender equality” does not clearly explain the inequality, and the online-business example does not directly support the claim that women lack opportunities. The second example is unfinished (“to work with int”), leaving that point unsupported. The response addresses the question only minimally, with ideas that need clearer explanation and relevant evidence. It also contains 221 words, below the required 250; the 11 words copied from the prompt are excluded from this count. Develop each reason with a clear explanation and a complete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “One of the major reason” and “Another reason,” and a conclusion. These paragraph divisions help the reader identify the main points. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships, as in the sentence beginning “if female want to work outside.” Linking phrases such as “To elaborate” and “For instance” are used, but the examples do not consistently connect to the claims, and the second body paragraph ends abruptly. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not resolve the unclear argument. Use one clear claim per paragraph, explain it in sequence, and ensure each example is complete and relevant.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “gender equality,” “opportunities,” “career,” and “male co-workers,” and you use some topic-related phrases such as “working places.” However, the range is basic and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the meaning hard to understand. “Men domiance” appears repeatedly instead of a clear expression such as “male-dominated fields,” while “get less attraction at working places” does not convey a precise idea. There are also spelling errors, including “approveal,” “bussines,” “difficulaty,” and “disguisted.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than repeating unclear wording, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your reasons and examples easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “This is due to the fact that,” and you use clauses with “because” and “if.” However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning. For example, “the women lead to changed” has an incorrect verb construction, “One of the major reason” has a number-agreement error, and “they faces” does not match its subject. The final sentence, “societies still cannot to achieved women,” is also grammatically unclear. Practise forming complete clauses with a clear subject and correctly conjugated verb, then check agreement, infinitives, and articles. Shorter, accurate sentences would help communicate your ideas more reliably.

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