Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I agree with this statement. Although women are playing a great role in our society, some of the societies cannot give the honor of equality to them. There are a few reasons behind it. Existence of male dominance in societies is one of them. A lot of jobs, positions, and roles are still done by men. Moreover, Ego of men is creating a barrier to achieve gender equality.

First of all, various types of job sectors in our society still need men to operate like construction, warehouse jobs, and others, where strong physique is mandatory. These are the positions where women can never replace men. Additionally, If we look at hospitals, schools, colleges, universities, and other institutions number of male employee is still more than female. Consequently, dominance by male is there due to better job holding ratio in these fields. This is one of the reasons for why societies cannot say that they achieved gender equality.

Secondly, men of some societies act superior over women. They always want to utilize a concept. The concept is: women have to do all household works, and they are not made to do other works. Especially, men of some rural areas in third world countries use this statement as much as they can. In those societies, women are contributing in several sectors as well as household works. But superiority and ego of men donot want to claim 'gender equality'. They carry a misconception that gender equality will make their life miserable.

To conclude, women in many societies are contributing a lot over a few decades. However, our society has failed to recognise their contribution, and they cannot claim to gain gender equality. Factors that are described in this essay are the drawbacks and reasons behind this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening—“I agree with this statement”—and the essay gives two relevant reasons: male dominance in employment and restrictive expectations about women’s domestic roles. The rural-society example also helps connect the argument to a real context. However, the employment point is not fully convincing as evidence of inequality: saying some jobs require physical strength, or that men are more numerous in certain institutions, does not explain whether women face unequal access, pay, or advancement. The claim that women “can never replace men” also weakens the argument. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation of how it demonstrates unequal treatment, and support the broad claims with a specific example. The conclusion restates your view but adds little synthesis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a concluding paragraph. The ideas generally progress from workplace patterns to household expectations, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Consequently” help show relationships. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some features of stronger organisation. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “They always want to utilize a concept” does not clearly identify the men’s belief, and “This is one of the reasons for why” is an awkward link back to the preceding point. The conclusion’s “Factors that are described in this essay” is also vague. Use clearer references and make transitions express the precise relationship between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “male dominance,” “gender equality,” “household works,” and “misconception,” so the main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “contributing in several sectors.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “give the honor of equality,” “better job holding ratio,” and “utilize a concept” do not express the intended meanings clearly. “Strong physique is mandatory” is also too absolute for the point being made, while “donot” is a spelling/spacing error. Build accuracy by learning common collocations for equality, employment, and social expectations, and choose wording that avoids sweeping claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including subordinate clauses such as “Although women are playing a great role…” and “where strong physique is mandatory.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and the paragraph structure gives you opportunities to vary sentence forms. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “number of male employee is still more” has problems with articles, number, and agreement; “women donot want” is not correctly formed in “superiority and ego of men donot want”; and “the reasons for why” uses an unnecessary construction. Capitalisation after commas is inconsistent, as in “Additionally, If.” Review subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and sentence punctuation, then edit each sentence for a clear grammatical subject and verb.

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