Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some people claim that in many societies the women empowerment development had changed in the last fifty years with a greater changes but,these places cannot argue that they achieved a gender equility.i strongly agree with it.this essay will suggest that women empowerment becomes the greater opportunity to raised women rights and feel comfortable with their own profession.

firstly,in these socities the level of women empowerment was rise in recent years.by this, women become independent in their life and do every work and employment.for example:in china there are lot of women departments to work independently with the mens and have provided equal rights.in this advanced time women work with the mens and earn money and improve their circumstances and nuturing the best of their children.

another benefit of this advanced societies of women empowerments was raised the rights of women equally to men and become advanced in every field of life.because in every field of life women can take part and faced every bad conditions and difficult modes of life.for instance:according to one survey conducted in america, women become equal important to men in every life procedure .america gave equal rule to women and said that women didnot less than mens.

to sum up,i firmly believe that position of women changed in great wat to becomes her equality in gender was more preferable to rise women empowerment and raised their rights and feel more easy in every field of life.overall,these two advantages decide to act as a powerful weapon in independently in favour of these sosieties but in some criteria they does not achieved equality like mens

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is stated clearly in the introduction (“I strongly agree”), and the response stays focused on women’s changing status and the continuing lack of equality. You give relevant examples, including women’s employment in China and a survey or policy example from America. However, the main discussion mostly describes improvements in women’s rights and opportunities rather than explaining why these changes still fall short of equality. The final sentence briefly acknowledges that inequality remains, but it does not identify or develop specific areas such as pay, leadership, or unequal domestic responsibilities. Develop this central argument with concrete reasons and explain how each example supports your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “firstly” and “another benefit,” and a conclusion beginning “to sum up.” These markers help the reader follow the broad organisation. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from employment to children’s upbringing, then to rights and difficult conditions without showing how each point connects to the claim that equality has not been achieved. Linking phrases such as “because” and “for instance” are used, but connections can feel mechanical or incomplete. The conclusion also introduces the remaining inequality very late. Make each paragraph develop one clear reason and use references and transitions to show how the examples support it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “independent,” “equal rights,” “employment,” and “gender equality,” so the reader can identify the subject and general argument. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated or used inaccurately, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to follow. For example, “women empowerment development,” “women departments,” and “equal important” are not natural expressions in this context. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “equility,” “socities,” and “mens.” Aim for precise collocations and vary repeated terms: describe women’s “participation in the workforce” or “access to opportunities,” and use “gender equality” consistently. Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons and examples, such as the sentence beginning “because in every field of life.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to interpret. For example, “the level of women empowerment was rise” has an incorrect verb form, while “women become equal important to men” has problems with the sentence structure and comparison. Subject–verb agreement and tense are also inconsistent, as in “these two advantages decide” and “they does not achieved.” Use a reliable simple sentence pattern first, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Check verb tense, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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