Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Over the last half century, the socio-economics and political status of women in many nations has changed positively , leading to the representation of position once dominated by men. I largely agree that these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender eqality .

firstly, women have acheived evey rights and education as they are no more dominated by men in the current period of time. Women have their rights equal to men and freedom. The ancient time of women were disrespected and abused by men but nowadays they all have their right to do anything.

secondly, women have freedom but they are paid less than men in every job as it have a deep impact on paying less to women from over the last half of century. For example, In nepal women are paid less even if they have done equal effort.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a relevant position—“I largely agree”—and identify unequal pay as evidence that equality has not been achieved. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the first body paragraph mainly asserts that women now have rights and freedom, without explaining how this relates to remaining inequality, and the second gives only one brief example. The claim that women are paid less “in every job” is too broad and is not supported with detail. The response contains 134 words, which is 116 words below the required minimum; this substantially limits the development of your reasons and examples. To strengthen the response, explain several continuing inequalities and develop each with a specific example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction gives your position, followed by two paragraphs introduced with “firstly” and “secondly.” This helps the reader identify the main points. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and the relationship between ideas is sometimes unclear. For example, the first paragraph moves from rights and education to historical abuse, but does not connect these points clearly to the claim that gender equality remains incomplete. The second paragraph introduces unequal pay but ends after one example. Use linking expressions to show cause, contrast, and consequence, and organise each body paragraph around one developed reason. A concluding paragraph would also help bring the argument to a clear close.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “representation,” “freedom,” and “paid less,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “the representation of position once dominated by men” and “they have done equal effort.” Spelling errors, including “eqality,” “acheived,” and “evey,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to use precise phrases for the specific inequalities you discuss, such as pay gaps, workplace opportunities, or representation in leadership. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations so your ideas sound natural and are easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with only limited attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences. Some basic sentence patterns communicate your meaning, but errors occur frequently. For example, “as it have a deep impact” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “The ancient time of women were” has problems with both the noun phrase and agreement. In “women have acheived evey rights,” the sentence structure does not clearly express the intended meaning. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “positively ,” and “firstly.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, then build longer sentences using clear subordinate clauses.

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